J0nny Ling0

Sex? Reasons to have sex? Well, I'll give you my one and only reason: I love SEX! I have it whenever possible! ....Sounds like me and Dooj are on the same page there...

Geez. You all are so much more savvy than I am with all of the electronic gizmos. Must be fun to be up on alla that. All I have to my name as far as "musical electronic gizmos" is my Sure Green Bullet microphone. One day when the kids are gone and out of the nest I will be able to buy some stuff...

Q.)Why did the blonde gal empty out a packet of Sweet and Low and begin chopping it up? . .Think about it a moment, don't peek! And then scroll down... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A.) She thought it was "diet coke".

Well now Jade, it does and did say "sitter" as in "baby sitter". Safari Vista mis-read it that's all...

Because "more is better?" At least my wife wants "more" all of the time. But, I'm talking about something different there

Okay okay. We'd better get this straight, for DMiller's sake as well as for my own sake. My friend, "Chef" Bizzarro, may have been acting like an "offended Italian American by saying; "Noodles are made from eggs!". But now, Doojable, an Italian American with unassailable character says that there is also flower (albeit rice flour) in Chinese egg noodles, which does in fact make sense, for, how could their be a "dry hard" noodle to soften in boiling water without some kind of flour as a base for consistency? In fact, now that I think of it, since eggs are referred to sometimes by chefs and cullinary artists as "the glue used in cooking" to keep things "together", it would make sense to me that even old fashioned Italian pasta would also have eggs in it. Would have to have eggs in it. And if so, why are Chinese egg noodles then called "egg noodles"? Because they have like, a huge percentage more "egg" in them? Now, I do know that North Dakota wheat, known as "durham" wheat, is marketed primarily for the making of pasta. And naturally in the Old Country, there was some other kind of wheat used for pasta, unless the Durham seed came from the Old Country, and was used here in North Dakota for instance. I htink that the kind of wheat grown down in Kansas is used more for the making of bread. I forget what that is called. And now, after all of the questions engendered in my mmind, when I have time, I am going to look the answers to all of this on the Net. But regardless of what Chinese noodles are made from, apparently it is an insult to call pasta "noodles". In fact, I remember my Mom and Dad arguing over this very point, with my Dad getting really mad at my Mom for insisting on calling certain pastas "noodles". And now, my wife insists on calling certain pastas "noodles", I think though, just to get my goat. And so Doojable! Is there ever a time to call any tubular or flat shaped pasta a "noodle"?

Okay, well, okay. And of course I was only funnin'. I do happen to know just how serious the Eyetilian 'Mericans are about their ethnic cuisine. I have two friends, brothers who live in the little community of Two Rivers, Alaska, who love their Italian food. They are known as the Bizzarro Brothers, in that that is their last name. One of them, Jeff, is a graduate of some culinary school, and is a very good chef. And while I lived up there with the other brother, Rob, we had "family dinner" at Jeff's every Sunday, with Jeff as the head chef. Basically, those who came to dinner were the two brothers' wives and all the kids, me, the visiting sister Trish The Dish, their visiting Mama, and at least two or three other locals. Jeff would fix all kinds of nice stuff, and make sure to explain that we all understood what it was about. He made his own prosciutto which he would include in the gravy. He did egg plant patmisan one night, chicken cacciatore'(sp?) on another, and always there would be different types of pastas with marinara sauce. He made sure that I understood the difference between the gravy and the sauce, for, gravy had meat in it, but the sauce does not. And we would have wine, with part of the tradition that as a guest, you brought a bottle of wine. It was really funny too, because, one gal, a local tough gal Alaskan musher (dog sled racer), didn't like any of the merlot, chianti, and others, and always complained about the "our wine" being sour. And so, she would always bring her "screw top wine" that was always of a nasty sweet nature. It wasn't quite Boones Farm Apple wine, but I am sure she would have preferred that over the nice wines that we enjoyed that spring/summer of 2004 while I was working in Fairbanks for three months. I also used to tease the Chef by saying; "Hey Jeff, these noodles are great!" When referring to the pasta. And he'd plug his ears and go; "La la la la! I can't hear that! Noodles are a stupid Chinese counterfeit made from eggs! It ain't pasta! And we'd all have a fine time with the kids at one end of a very long table, and we adults at the other. The wine would warm the conversation, the food would warm our souls, and the fellowship was just fine! We would finish it out with good coffee made in a French press with real cream, and it was grand. Great fun, that, and an excellent tradition for any family, regardless of the cuisine. However, I think it was then that I finally appreciated the greatness of Eyetalian food! And ya know, we never once had pizza!

NO. I never typed "baby sister". I would never do that. That is sicko. Sorry if you read it that way, it must have been horrible!

Ya know Dooj, we are in direct disagreement here. Our first out and out fight. I can't believe you would side with those who would "dis" Pineapple Pizza! You and Raf are buddies now huh? Yeah. And if you sling pizza sauce at me I'll report you to Pawtucket! Or the Modcat! Can't you just agree with us that Pineapple pizza really is pizza, but just not your favorite? Please now, come on over. It's nice over here. We'll have some beer, a nice pepperoni/mushroom/Italian sausage pizza made by some New York Pizza place. And I'll even refrain from ordering a Hawaiian Delight. And after you come over, we'll invite Raf, for, as one famous American Motorist once said; "Can't we all just get along?"

Probably back to the "Kraft Cheese Food Plant" :( Ya know, I really don't like the French, but, they have good call to ridicule us for our "Kraft Cheese Food Plants", "spray cheese" and all. But we do make good cheese in Tillamook, Oregon. But now we have "pizzandwiches?" Sounds gross. Raf, I agree with you, and no doubt Doojable will be on board with a similar sentiment. But, do they make Hawaiin Delight Pizzandwiches? That might make 'em tolerable.....

I wouldn't argue with that big bugger! Not unless I had my trusty Ruger .338 Winchester magnum rifle that is. And then I would love to take him on, and......put him on my pizza!

Oh, it was Garth. What does moose taste like? Well, it is like very lean beef I guess, but it has a bit of a gamey taste, but that depends on if you get 'em too close to the rut, or it also depends on what they have been eating alot of. Up in the Interior of Alaska, they eat lots of willow, which can tend to give it less of a good taste than what they eat down here in Southeast Alaska where there is lots of alder and other tender vittles. But if you get them during the middle of the rut, the meat can be downright nasty! You see, a bull moose during the rut will actually slurp the urine of a cow moose as she pees because of all of the estrus and because of their savage desire to "get some". They really are animals I tell ya! And if you take a bull who has been slurping pee, ya may as well not even shoot him, because the meat will be way bad. Caribou bulls do the same thing. So far, I have been fortunate to have had some fine moose meat. It makes great "Moose-sketti" too!

Yeah, what DMiller said! And, I think it was Safari Vista who asked of "putting Bullwinkle on my pizza": Or was that someone else who asked? Anyway, not only have I put Bullwinkle on my pizza and eaten him, I have shot 'em, butchered 'em, and one time, I scalped this cow moose of her ears and put the bloody scalp and ears on my head which made me look like I had two big drooping moose ears hanging down. And as we drove the truck back into town from the float plane dock, my wife passed us going the other way, but she saw us laughing and me with my moose ears still on. It was the beer I think, that we were celebrating with on our way back into town from the semi-Bush that kept me in the "semi-barbarian bloody moose ear mode". But, I never did do what I wanted to do with those ears though. I wanted to take the ears to a taxidermist and have a hat made with those ears hanging down, and that moose's mane running down my back. And then I could wear it to the annual Trapper's Ball in beautiful downtown Anchorage where I would then engage in the annual "whiskey shot" contest with my moose ears fur hat on. And after that I'd go and buy me a great big Pineapple Pizza Pie, and then....probably barf it all over the place. :blink: And so, on second thought, I'd probably skip the pizza that night. But, the next moose I get, I swear, I am going to have me a moose ear hat made just like that.... And by the way, no one just goes and "gooses mooses". Moose will kill you in an instant if you try it. They are way powerful and can kill you with a lightning kick with their front feet. In Anchorage, a poor elderly Chinese American man was stomped to death right outside one of the side doors of the University Of Alaska Anchorage a number of years back. Poor man, didn't have a chance. It was shown over and over on Hard Copy, and also on "When Wild Animals Attack!" I'd be glad to have that moose on my pizza! Anyway, do not drink whiskey and eat any kind of pizza! Especially an anchovy pizza! Hmmm, pineapple?....anchovy?....pineapple?.....Anchovy....Well, I think I'd rather have a pineapple pizza over stinky anchovies any old day....

This just in! A newspaper article on "Gourmet Pizza", a phenomenon that is sweeping America! And where did it all start? The West Coast of course... http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,195437,00.html And, a person more computer literate than I could download that picture of that gourmet pie and post it here. Looks yummy!

Good one! In the accent of joe Pesci in Lethal Weapon as "Leo". "Okay Okay! I got another Lone Ranger joke. Okay okay!!" "Okay! The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding their horses up a very narrow canyon. As they look ahead to the top of the draw, Both men see hundreds of indians with war paint, painted ponies, complete with bows and lances up on the rim. Then they look up to the right to the top and see hundreds more indians all looking just as menacing. They look up th to the left and see...the same thing! They both whip their heads around and look down the canyon only to see the same grim picture of hundreds of hostile looking indians seemingly bent on mayhem. The Lone Ranger then looks frantically at Tonto and says; "Tonto! What are we gonna do about all those Indians!?" And Tonto, stone faced looks at The Lone Ranger and asks; "Waddya me mean we whiteman?"

Well, Happy Mothers day to you Cowgirl! That is, if you are a Mom. And, that was purdy dang cool! It was funny, because it is the same picture as you normally have, and your lips werte moving funny like. So, the "talking card" people must have animated your lips to make 'em look like they were moving, as well as make your head nod some. Cool! Jonny Lingo

Okay well, the baby sitter is supposed to be nineteen or twenty though...

Amen Temple Lady! Amen!

Cool Chef! You would ruin a good pizza with "fetid" cheese? I only like fetid cheese on a Greek salad... And Dooj. Seems like you have found a kindred spirit in Raf. But I must say, we now are in different Churches, for I love Pineapple Pizza. You say it is no longer pizza with pineapple on it? Well, I have put moose sausage which we made in the likeness of "sweet Italian sausage" but with moose meat instead. We have done the same with caribou as well. I even have a friend who put some Musk Ox Sausage on Pizza! Does this then therefore relegate our Alaskan pizza into the "Non Pizza Bin". I think not! Temple Lady can I get an Amen Sistah! Do you all not remember the article I posted on "Flying Alaskan Pizza"? I think that those crazy Skimo's out in Shishmaref were putting Chum Salmon eggs on their flying Pizzas! (Barf) One would think that those from the Italian Band would be proud that their famous cullinary delight known as Pizza has been preached unto the Uttermost Parts of the Earth! Alaska the Forty Ninth State! Hawaii the Fiftieth! One would think that the Italian Band would be proud of the "widespreadedness" of their culture. But nooo! Gotta have it your way I see! Haha! Reminds me of McDonalds! Do you eat there too?! haha!

Ya know, Sudo, I had not heard that one!

Okay. I may be stepping over the line with this one, but it is in line with Jade's joke: Little Johnny went up to his mother and asked; "Mommy, why does Daddy have two "things?" And Mommy answered and asked; "Why Johnny, what do you mean by two "things?" And Johnny say; "You know "things" and points to his pants zipper. And Mommy chuckles and says; "Oh no Johnny, I assure you, Daddy only has one of those things, I know! Haha!" But Little Johnny is persistent, and presses on and says; "No no Mommy, Daddy has two things! I've seen them both!" And Mommy, her curiosity piqued, says; "Now what do you mean by that Johnny? You say that you have seen that he has two "things? Whatever do you mean?" "Well", replies Little Johnny, "He has a little thing to go to the bathroom with, and a great big one to clean the baby sitter's teeth with!"

Q.) Who was the second smallest man in the Bible? A.) Nehi-miah Q.) Who was the number one smallest man in the Bible? A.) Bildad the Shuhite Heard of those evil animals in the Bible? The wicked flea.....(and I forgot the others) Where was Adam the night before The Fall? On the Eve of destruction What did Adam say the first time he made love to Eve? "Better stand back Eve, I don't know how big this thing gets!"

Oh man, if a guy can cry, ya just gotta vote for him! :) But I do get a kick out of that sentiment, for I have seen over and again how a woman will let out a heartfelt "aww" when she notes a tear in a man's eyes.... But, Sunnyfla, I have not actually seen any of this season's Idol. And so now it's down to three? So tell me, when is the next one? I know I'm a little late, but, it seems as if I never get around to finding out when it is on up here in Alaska, for, when it is nine pm. in Florida for instance, it is five p.m. here. It may be on delayed time, but, I just never seem to figure these things out. I guess the thing to do would be to find some local American Idol fan and get the low down. Last time I watched it was when some lonhg hared skilly white dude was beaten by some black chich with a weird name like Fantasia or something. I thought they were both really good. And I guess to be in the top two, ya gotta be really good. And now that I think of it, maybe it was Carrie Underwood beating some long haired skinny white dude. I guess I did see the one when she won. I remember watching that one specifically because she was from Checotah, Oklahoma, where one of our Greasespot posters, Fellowshipper55 is from. Anyway, what night is the next one?

Why are Women So Strange ~~~~~~~~~~~ ? I dunno. Have always wondered about that... :blink: But, great story Mr. DMiller! But I wonder if that toddler was their first child though. It took a little while for me to catch onto that "all of the sudden it's too quiet in here" dreaded feeling which meant that Meagan, Trevor, Riley or Luke was into something. The first time I remember that happening, Meagan, two at the time was behind the couch quietly feeding an eager Mr. Starbuck (the dog), stick after stick of butter! But I did note the quiet and go looking, and did catch them in the act, the very act!

Happy Birthday Donner!