Leaderboard

Not sure why I am commenting, as I have nothing new, but over the years since being out, I get moments of clarity on things that I always knew. All of these classes laid a groundwork for what we were supposed to believe and how we were to act. Any hint of thought or behavior that didn't jibe with those primers were alarm signals and justification to reprimand, yell at, devalue, criticize and find some existing 'fault' that needed to be corrected , until you were back to parroting the 'word' taught in the classes at all times. After several years of reproof sessions for various crimes, it dawned on me that I could avoid much of it be keeping my mouth shut, cleaning my room, and appearing to be onboard with any and every thing the way did. At one point, I was coordinating a twig, running a way home, class 'instructor', and bookstore manager for the state all at the same time. Thankfully I resisted going into the corps, largely because deep down I knew I would never live up to that standard 24 hours a day, and had no desire to live in a compound. All those classes created a core group of otherwise 'regular' people who had been indoctrinated with just enough way think to make independent goals and actions extremely difficult.