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Ok, here goes. I grew up mostly at HQ - not in the frying pan; in the fire. The standards for children there were ridiculous. Basically, be perfect. Listen, remember, obey. Be a good example. Don’t be a stumbling block. Dress appropriately. Speak respectfully. Don’t be angry. Don’t be sad, be thankful. I watched some kids, especially as teenagers, become angry and rebellious. Others, like me, became as compliant and people-pleasing as a person could possibly be. I was complimented often on my “meekness.” In childhood, this meant a rather controlled atmosphere. As a teenager, it was absolutely suffocating. I’m now well into middle age, and I find that I have very little sense of self. The mental work I’m doing now is mostly about separating my “cult self” from my “authentic self” (as Steven Hassan labels it in Combatting Cult Mind Control) - I also think of it as new man vs. old man with the new man being false behaviors smothering my real personality. I’ve always thought I had pretty good self esteem. I realize now I feel fine about my cult self - being disciplined, keeping things clean, being a high achiever, serving others to the detriment of self. I have a deep self-loathing for that hidden authentic self that isn’t “perfect” - is spontaneous, joyful, sexual, angry, free, artistic, childlike, grieving. It’s taken months of counseling, thinking, reading, and agonizing just to realize this. Still working on how to let it out. Another part of growing up that still affects me is hyper-vigilance about “danger.” The idea that the devil was out to get us; and if you are “out of alignment and harmony” you’ll be outside of God’ protection; and we were taught that people we knew had DIED because they didn’t follow their schedules or didn’t follow their leadership’s advice; this adds up to a brain trained to be alert to the smallest inconsistencies in the environment (PTSD). Then put in the strong imagery of Athletes of the Spirit. My friends and I were obsessed with it. We learned the seed of the serpent dance and would argue over who got to be her and which devil spirits we got to be. That imagery was so strong for our young minds. Taking the advanced class made it even more vivid and more urgent. Then, if you were at HQ in the 90s, you remember lunch time. LCM would talk for hours every week sometimes, lecturing about the things God was “showing him” or about how we all needed to be so vigilant or about people - telling their personal lives and struggles to everyone and talking about how the “adversary” had gotten into their lives and how devil spirits were infiltrating their minds. Is it any wonder I was terrified to drink? To try drugs? That has seemed like a good thing to me for a long time, but I now realize I was so constrained by fear that the mere idea of losing control sends me into a near panic. It wasn’t good. And along with all that came the underlying belief that if I wasn’t all those “good” things - a strong disciple, believing positively, behaving according to the Word, doing what my spiritual overseers told me to do, blah blah blah - I wouldn’t be loved. Discipline of children was so strongly emphasized (and LCM criticized parents so heavily) that as a child, I subconsciously picked up that I wasn’t good enough and wasn’t lovable if I wasn’t right in line. Now, as a parent, I really do think at least my mother loved me unconditionally, and she told me that when I left the way. I have a lot of family left in the way. I stay anonymous because of it. Still afraid of losing their love over my “disobedience.” I guess posting here is one way for me to push back and not allow myself to be silenced, even if I’m not fully out there. Baby steps. In a lot of ways I was lucky. I went to college instead of going Wow or Way Disciple right away. I of course wanted to go in the corps - because how else were you really somebody? - but was lucky enough to get through college and realize I didn’t want to do that. I spent my 20s wading through all the doctrines I tried so hard to keep believing in, but I just couldn’t get them to make sense with real life. I rejected them. And didn’t realize the mess all this has made of my psyche. I was a true believer. I did the things you were supposed to do. I toed the line. I put my heart and soul into it. And all I got was this broken spirit.

I am not aware of VF being "exclusionary" or "elitist" in the sense of his group being the only group that gets saved. I would say that is inconsistent with the character of the man whose teachings I followed throughout most of the 1990s. It's been ages, so that could have changed. I would be surprised as a matter of character, but not as a matter of potential.

Reading Rocky’s post on pyramid schemes - made me think of another angle on the word “Antichrist “ in the title of this thread - in the Greek “anti” could mean not only “against” and “opposite of” but also “in place of”...as in - the Way Tree in place of Christ or perhaps even the body of Christ...some passages come to mind: wierwille’s teaching of the word taking the place of the absent Christ reminds me of another Jesus / another gospel in II Corinthians 11 that warns of being contaminated from the simplicity or exclusiveness that is in Christ. Such is the way of any cult leader - like wierwille who used the Bible as a means to his dark agenda...to take folks captive through “philosophy and empty deception “ as it’s put in Colossians 2 where deceived Christians are also told to let no one keep on defrauding them through financial and social harm...(or for those who prefer something that sounds biblical - let no one cheat you out of any temporal or eternal blessings). ...wierwille’s insidious legacy is as virulent as ever in any group that thinks his doctrine and practice are still cool...yes what’s obviously missing from wierwille’s legacy is Christ ! Indeed wierwille’s doctrine and practice does take the place of the “absent “ Christ. The Pyramid Sceme was the perfect business model for wierwille - recruit followers by promising them how much they would gain by recruiting others - the old “receive-retain-release” idea...similar to “giving and receiving “ ...I remember another of wierwille’s “gems” in PFAL along these lines “ the reason the Dead Sea is dead is because it has an inlet but no outlet”...in my opinion all these ideas suggest a follower can’t just sit there and do nothing after taking the class - it’s only when one “gives it away” (share what you’ve learned - get others signed up for the next class, and give of your time, money and resources) that you will see a return on your investment. as the Wikipedia link suggests the futility of pyramid schemes (here applied to TWI) - as recruiting multiplies, enlisting new way followers becomes more difficult - with most existing members seeing little if any profit - thus in the long haul the pyramid scheme is unsustainable!

Or in a pyramid scheme... why do you think Amway was so attractive to people in TWItville? "In recent decades, pyramid schemes have become an insidious, pervasive and corrupting influence in the marketplace and community, causing financial and social harm on a global scale." Since 1980 a new form of sales and marketing, called multi-level marketing or network marketing, has spread worldwide and spawned an explosion of pyramid sales schemes involving tens of millions of consumers. The line between legal forms of network marketing and fraudulent pyramid programs is a point of controversy, confusion and inquiry in many countries. Pyramid Scheme Alert will provide much needed information to consumers and other interested parties to reduce the number of illegal and de facto pyramid schemes and victims-and to minimize the severity of effects on individuals and communities.

That's disappointing, when he agreed to 30 years. It's obviously not in the nature of a "contract" that he agreed to, when he agreed to be extradited. And then to lodge an appeal?! He'll still be an old man when he get out - if he gets out. Methinks the "accidents" that have befallen him, and attacks from other inmates, may not improve his lifespan. He may be unhealthy from years of prison life. Perhaps getting geriatric illnesses and diseases. In the UK sometimes such prisoners are given early release, because a prison isn't a hospital and they don't have facilities to deal with the problems - like dementia, or serious degeneration of their bodies - of very elderly prisoners. But some - like Ian Brady, a notorious torturer and killer of young children - die there, despite their condition (he had brain cancer). Perhaps they're kept in because even after decades, it's safer for them in prison.

It's hard to miss the redundant emphasis on financial prosperity... as if that's a key aspect of having and believing the truth, knowing the Lord, and/or living a Christian life. But then, if the adherents to the message have "the abundant life," well... then all the easier it is to teach and talk about sharing that abundance, eh? It's so easy to quote Christ and say that the laborer is worthy of his hire (Luke 10:7), and to say that it applies to a minister of Christ... but what does the example of Paul, who was plainly made a minister, attest to? Did he take wages of or from others? Does he, anywhere in all of his writings, teach (or implicitly condone) such a thing? I think not. To live a quiet and peaceable life (in all godliness and honesty) seems to be a far, far cry from the "prosperity" that is (and so often was) promoted elsewhere... Ah, but who is Paul, that anyone should ever think or want to follow his example?