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Welcome to Grease Spot, Less Than – I am sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad and the tension with your Mom. Family conflicts can be messy and complicated all by themselves and even more so when you have a cult in the mix – I think it may be because a cult has its own set of weird interpersonal dynamics – which gets superimposed…injected…mixed in with whatever particular dysfunctionalities are already present in a family - every family has them - - there is no “perfect” or “normal” family. On the anxiety / depression thing you brought up – I can relate on how I use to believe if I worked at renewing my mind, praying, reading the Bible, etc. I would be over my depression. I suffered from it before TWI – then while in TWI it eventually got worse (please refer to my previous paragraph – mental health issues and a cult are never a good mix). I finally went to a psychiatrist – even though I was wondering the same thing as you “what would I actually talk about?”. My first session was more like stream of consciousness writing – I was flitting from thing to thing – going over various incidents, worries, fears, people in my life, failures, decisions I made, etc. His great words of wisdom were “you’ve got to stop beating yourself up over all that stuff.” There were a lot more helpful discussions of details in the following sessions, of course and I found a great book to help me manage depression - it’s Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David Burns ...The book gets into cognitive distortions which are "exaggerated or irrational thought patterns that are believed to perpetuate the effects of psychopathological states, especially depression and anxiety"…funny thing though – while I was reading this book I began to realize that there were a lot of cognitive distortions built into the mindset that The Way International encourages its followers to have. I think that’s some of what my psychiatrist was addressing when he told me to stop beating myself up over things…yeah I sort of got the idea that some of the mental habits I learned in TWI actually made me my own worst enemy, if you can believe that. Hope to see you around, check out the About the Way forum you’ll probably find some stories in there of folks you can relate to. And let me offer you a cup of our finest cappuccino.

In the 70's my mother found herself a part of twi. She's still with this cult. I've got serious anxiety discussing this at all as I have been so brainwashed that anyone outside of twi is wrong. But as a child who started faithfully attending twigs in the 90s as mom lost track of regular fellowships some time in the 80's during what was referred to as "the dark ages" I don't know if that's what mom called it or everyone I was never good enough. I watched children be born out of wedlock, teenagers get pregnant and given immense support. While I was an honor student and a virgin I was "unequally yolked" because I was dating a boy who wasn't quite sure he wanted to be involved and by dating I talked to him over the phone for 4 years and met with him maybe 5 times in that period. My father was an alcoholic and rarely visited twi until the end when he was pressured to make sure he'd be there for the "gathering together". I now wonder if most of his demons were that he knew his wife was raising his children in a cult and didn't know how to combat the strong will of this Godly woman. My father died and strangely enough she felt supported but I was not. That was my last straw. I suffer severe anxiety and depression and it was untreated until recently because I was supposed to pray it away and renew my mind. I'm still very suppressed and scared to seek therapy because I've been brainwashed to believe there's nothing wrong with me so what would I actually talk about? Ok I'm taking a deep breath and posting this and praying this never gets back to my mother because I don't know how to deal with that conflict.

Chockfull, neither you nor any of us will be "fixed" until Christ returns and fixes us. Meantime, we just keep doing our best and look to him to cover the rest. I'm very thankful for the love and patience shown to us specifically whilst we're recovering from Waydaze. The kindness shown by some people is more healing than they could ever know.

Well take you to the land of milk and honey, all we ask is all your time and money.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.” That's from Charles Dickens "A Tale of Two Cities". Welcome to the 'Spot. Pull up a chair and chat a while. I'm sorry about your childhood - being a child in the Way was a particular kind of hell.

First and foremost -- you are not alone! As far as going to therapy, the good thing is that all you have to do is respond to the questions posed by the therapist. I realize you probably already know that, so I hope you don't mind that I said it. Also, here's the video Twinky mentioned (that I posted the other day in another forum on this website). The labels are different for other cults, but the template is essentially the same as what we were subjected to in twi. You are also far from alone in dealing with depression and anxiety. It can get better for you. We're on your side.

Courageous post Less Than. Welcome to GreaseSpot. Breathe!

My wife and I both read Charlene’s book in one day. Too compelling to put down. Excellent read.

Jonah's ?????????????????????????????? LOL

All that would prove is that we are closer than we thought to the Turing test than we thought. And that Elon Musk isn't as paranoid as we thought. And, if it was just a week, I might not even notice depending on the timing. You see, I have absolutely no obligation to correct people who are wrong on the internet. Even AI bots. ;) LOL

I've seen how some of them re invent their resumes for the benefit of employers who don't understand that "spiritual perception and awareness" is a really valuable skill. I'd love to hear their answers to interview questions like "what do you think your greatest weakness is?"....how do you make "I can be a hateful lying bastard if I don't like you or I think you've done something to question my authority" sound good? I lost track of what they Way offered as training. Back in my day it was Howard Allen or Harry Wierwille going on about keeping a ledger, writing lists, saving money, that kind of stuff. I learned some practical things that I was able to use later, but if I hadn't continued my education I'd be seriously ham strung. Public speaking and life coaching is big amongst ex-Wayfers from what I see - but unless someone has some real experience and a thick resume why would you want them teaching you that stuff? Anyhoo.

I think that's about the size of it, Socks. It's just business - to defame others, to blame them for everything that you don't like (on a whim or for some other reason). It isn't love, grace, mercy, forgiveness, or even bearing another's burden. One might wonder how these R&R signatories are faring in the real world without compelled followers or anyone who gives a shred of credence to what they're peddling; wonder if they have any regrets about how they oppressed those over whom they exercised "spiritual oversight," and how they castigated them when their "believing" seemingly failed to meet required standards; wonder if they're finding their leadership styles don't engender suitable awe in the secular workplace. But nobody should wonder too much!! Life's too short!!

Testimonials: I’m glad I came back. I really feel like I’m part of a big household now and never want to leave again. It's like being under house arrest, only better ! Lordy Pete (Snowball Pete’s 2nd cousin - twice removed - aka 2 time mark-and-avoid recipient, but is now doing penance on grounds crew at Headquarters)