T-Bone: What honesty!
I think you're quite safe "in the middle", as it were. As one who carefully weighs things on BOTH sides of the scale before rendering a verdict, you're quite the "juror of gold", which is quite admirable in God's sight.
And yes...balance is a great key. Scripturally, this equates to the "Jews and Gentiles", of which "the church" is comprised. (Basically, the Jews are too strict and the Gentiles are too lenient.) Those who are wise are careful not to go too far "to the left hand" (law, or cursing) or "to the right" (grace, or blessing). Just be content in "your own middle"!
Since leaving "them" (as with you) I haven't studied as much as I used to --- because I'm more concerned these days about DOING a little of what I know. Instead (as you) I take more time to take care of my wife and things of concern to make sure my promise of "giving her a great life" is secure.
I look well into our finances. Our house is paid for. BTW, "you know who" wasn't glad when we took out a mortgage for it --- screw them and their "borrower is servant to the lender" perversion of the Scriptures! Not to brag, but we paid off a 30-year mortgage in 5 years and 2 months. (Needless to say, we would NEVER have saved enough CASH to buy this wonderful home with if we did it "their way"...OK...enough!)
Therefore, our "autumn years" look quite bright ahead. If I can say one thing to you it would be this: Ro 14:22 "Hast thou faith? Have it to thyself before God. Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth."
So if you allow a bit of LIVING at times (instead of constantly studying the Bible) so what? God knows your heart. And isn't that the point --- to live happily and in peace? And while you're doing "those other things" you spoke of, just keep it in balance and try not to judge yourself too harshly, friend.
Yes though, keep searching where your heart takes you. For all you know, what "you decide" to look into just might be God himself allowing you to suppose those are "your great ideas" --- when in all reality, it just may be that HE (just as written) "is working in you to do of his good pleasure"!
If you can "read between the lines", consider the possibility of 1Co 12:11 meaning that (as you're already willing, by your own choices and personality) God is behind that already --- according to his plan for you personally...leading you RIGHT WHERE YOU WANT TO GO ANYWAY!
Just remember to give him the credit for "those good ideas of yours", because they're probably his to begin with anyway! Peace, brother...