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Sorry you went through that penworks. I would venture to say your accuser probably has more issues with their own past than with you. I also feel that empathy for other humans is a moral trait we didn't exercise much in the Way. Its easier to be empathetic towards someone you perceive to be like you. It takes work to get to empathy towards those you perceive as different from you. Thankfully I married someone opposite to me in many ways. Therefore I get daily work at something I'm not good at naturally. I'm actually making some progress. Who knows where I might be in another 10 or 20 years. :)

Cult Survivors: The Duality of Life Those of us who have extricated, or are still in the process of extricating, ourselves from the cult entanglement of the way international know all too well the challenges we've overcome and still need overcoming. We are cult survivors......having the resilience, fortitude, and perseverance to reclaim our individual sovereignty. The cult experience may have grasped chunks of years from our lives, or disconnected us from precious family relationships that took years to repair, of which, many never did, or stole careers, opportunities, and dreams from our lives........but hopefully, should not and/or will not define us. Here at GSC, we gather to share our stories and reach out to help others and in doing so, help ourselves as well. Our mission is to "tell the other side of the story"...... In some ways, I think that I've contemplated this twofold reality since 1981.....when I was faced with that crossroad's decision, my fiancé or my parents/family [i.e. - future vs past]. The cult was formidable in not allowing both to co-exist in continuity or harmony. That extreme position defined it as A Cult. Thus, from that moment during my deprogramming..... or now, viewed as cult-intervention........."the duality of life" was embedded, and there to stay. My cult experiences hold "places in my heart" that I deem personal moments. Yes, I was in a cult, but in these snapshots, the cult is not there. Also, I was listening to the "music" that moved me..........to "live and move and have my being." [Acts 17:27,28] And, when children entered our lives.....I could not totally regret my cult involvement, else I wouldn't have my wife or these two unique sons. More later.........but a h/t to chockfull. .

Dear Greasespot: I sometimes wonder why I stayed with the Way after it got so legalistic in the 1990’s. So in light of this I thought it might be interesting if we could share legalism stories. Here is one that makes me sad just to remember it: In 1995 fellowship started to become a real drag. There were twig meetings held three times a week plus a mandatory witnessing night. If you did not show up for one activity you were called on the carpet and your commitment to God was questioned. However, I remembered past deliverance in my life so I faithfully attended twig. In our fellowship was a tender-hearted woman named Ellen who was an excellent cook. She could make the most flavorful and wholesome meals from virtually nothing. In ministry parlance she had a “longsuit” in the domestic arts. A local high school was offering an eight week evening class in cake decorating that she wanted to attend. She discovered that it was held on a night without a twig or witnessing commitment so she asked the coordinator if she could take the class. He asked her why she wanted this class. She said she loved cooking and it would be her pleasure to make birthday, anniversary and class cakes for the Believers. The coordinator was not sure if he could grant this request so he asked up the way tree. It seems that this was such a big decision that the limb coordinator had to make the final judgment. So after all of this discussion she was allowed to take the class. However there was trouble right around the corner. It seems that the teacher of the class had a friend who had baked the first president Bush’s inauguration cake and she was coming to town to teach a master class of how she did it. This was literally a unique event; she was going to discuss how to bake a cake for thousands of guests in borrowed facilities with the Secret Service looking over your shoulder. There were also special considerations of the cake itself. The first Bush had made his “thousand points of light” speech and this cake was to have one thousand electric lights in it. She had to invent a special icing that would not melt from the heat given off by the lights and the cake had an ingenious wiring system so that it could be served easily. This gifted baker was going to give a master class for one night only and the teacher of the high school class had managed to get an invitation for all her beginning students to attend. This event was so highly anticipated that pastry chefs were vying for a seat in this class. The only problem is that this event fell on twig witnessing night. As soon as Ellen found out about the schedule conflict she asked for permission to attend this class. She promised that she would witness to everyone that she met and that this would be a great opportunity for outreach. However leadership was wary, as they demanded that she bring another Believer so she could go two-by-two. However the class was full and it was audacious to ask for exception especially since she was a beginning student in a master class. She was persuasive and was reluctantly given permission by leadership to attend. However this came to bite her in the foot. A few months later when about one third of our twig area was Marked and Avoided she was in that group. I never learned the reason that she was M & A, but I have a sneaky suspicion that this was why she got the boot. E. W. Bullinger P. S. What irked me about this situation is that was based on crazy Loy boy’s ideas of commitment. I remember how in the old days it was expected that if you had an outside interest God would bless it. I am thinking about Pro 18:16 where a man’s gift makes room for him. I am convinced that this was an example of God blessing her life and the legalistic ministry stepped on her heart.

Quite a few new posters are showing up these days. Just in case they may have missed it, here is the official word on VPW's cause of death: HERE

Just wanted to add a comment – I think Grease Spot is multi-purposed. One aspect of which is to serve as a warning to others. A few years ago I found the picture shown below and really took a liking to it. For me it has a two-fold meaning. In one way, it represents the mistake of me being gullible and following a charismatic leader of a cult. Group-think as opposed to using one’s own critical thinking skills leads to disastrous results – sucking down one’s time, resources, energy, etc. in the whirlpool of a sinking ship. Usually a smart person learns from their mistakes…I did and abandoned the S.S. Gullible. In another way it represents the “vessel” of TWI. I was in TWI for twelve years. Thinking back on where my head was at just before I left – it was a huge breakthrough to realize TWI was NOT the body of Christ. It was NOT God’s ministry. It was a cruel, legalistic, exploiting, and life-dominating organization with some sick and deranged predators at the helm. Going through the way corps leadership training program afforded me a small glimpse of the twisted doctrine and practice that runs this ship. Hence, another realization: the similarities of the Spanish Inquisition and the modern-day-monarchs-of-madness going at it after the Passing of a Patriarch edict (leadership vying for power after the supposed last will and testament of the deceased founding cult leader vpw - for some, one's opinion of Passing of a Patriarch was almost like a litmus test to show where you were at spiritually) ...eventually offshoots happen - variations of the original cult - that's why I'm not interested in checking out other ministries or following any particular person.). ....I abandoned the S.S. TWI-tanic in 1986. Waysider had a good suggestion of exploring more of Grease Spot – perhaps you’ll get a better understanding of why people have responded the way they did. I wish you the best love and peace T-Bone

Thanks so much for sharing your story, T-Bone. You and Tonto are an inspiration! I love it that you pointed out that you're "into developing empathy." In my view, that is a major step in getting us healed from the narcissistic mindset of our past cult life. The ability to put ourselves in someone else's shoes is not always easy. Oddly, during our Way Corps training, in our public speaking class, one principle we were taught from Carnegie was "to try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view." But often we failed at that because we thought we were right all the time when it came to what the Bible said, what God wanted for us, etc. etc. When you think you're right, it's pretty darn hard to see things from another's point of you, but even if you can, you've already made the judgment that their point of view is WRONG. So having a conversation, a civil back and forth, respectful one, is impossible. Thank goodness, when we realize that "certainty" is not possible about most things, we can relax, admit we're human, and appreciate other people ... Forgive me if I'm "preaching." This is just what's on my mind this morning. I'm fresh from Facebook where someone (a Way Corps guy who married one of my 2nd Corps sisters) accused me of supporting Sharia Law and killing babies because I showed up at the Women's March in Orlando to show support for the U.S. Constitution, Bill of Rights, and golden rule. Go figure ...

I thought of a few things on the duality of life – and thanks, Rocky for the link on duality. My former ministry-mindset would NOT accommodate a duality – rather it focused on supposed dichotomies…conditioned for either-or thinking only. Which is an interesting tangent - it's a false dilemma (see link below) – when only two choices are presented – yet more exist - the type of thinking vp promoted tended to eliminate options and through deception and fallacies one was more or less “forced” to choose his way – because all other options according to him were insane, devilish, worldly, off the word , blah blah blah. false dilemma excuse the digression – but I thought it sort of goes with the duality thing. We were taught that any financial hardships, failures, health issues, etc. were always our fault, we weren’t believing enough, we weren’t putting the word first, we weren’t abundant sharing enough, we weren’t speaking in tongues enough, blah blah blah. What was it with this insane obsession we could manipulate reality – if we would just knuckle down and do all those release-the-genie-in-the-bottle techniques. We were not encouraged to embrace all of life (take the good with the bad) – but rather to ignore whatever aspects did not fit with TWI’s paradigm. If your spouse…friend…(whoever – you fill in the blank) doesn’t agree with what TWI says is “the word” – then they can take a hike. If you can’t think “the word” at your job – then get a new job. I think embracing all of life is more realistic – to accept the duality of life - if I want to “own” all the good fortune that comes my way then I think it’s only fitting I should also “own” the unfortunate things that so often comes with the territory. I am so blessed – I am still so crazy about my wife Tonto – she is my inspiration. The odd thing about it is – if I hadn’t been in TWI and gone WOW I never would have met her….yes…it’s true…I married my WOW sister. Scandalous indeed! However – this worked out pretty good – more than anything else or anyone else – she has been the most helpful to me with my ongoing “project” of unpacking/sorting/analyzing/dealing with the mental baggage of a lifetime (not just TWI stuff)…hopefully I’m becoming a better person or less of an a$$hole…six of one half a dozen of the other…ahhhh there’s that duality of life again…I’m a better person and less of an a$$hole. Two years after we left TWI our daughter was born…with Down Syndrome. Again I am so thankful we had left TWI – I don’t think I would have handled parenthood properly if I was still in TWI. My concerns would probably have been more centered around myself – what is the matter with my believing? What will other believers think of me? Fortunately for my daughter, when I left TWI I had nothing BUT MY FAMILY to be concerned with. I’ve heard it said people with disabilities often draw out the best in others. I think that is true. Sometimes when we go somewhere like on a vacation or family outing I find myself wondering if I were her what would make this thing we’re doing more enjoyable. I’m really into developing empathy. Tonto and I have been together for over 40 years. Through thick and thin….WOW, Family Corps….we’ve survived a cult dammit! Through financial hardships, ups and downs in our separate career paths, health issues, car wrecks, helped our son pursue a contractor trade, raising our daughter with a disability. There’s no way we’re giving up on each other now after all we’ve invested in our life together.

GSC is a very diverse place with many beliefs and attitudes being represented, all the way from Christian to Wicca to Taoism and so on. The most appropriate place to discuss those beliefs is in the doctrinal forum. However, the main purpose of GSC is to expose the reality of what was taking place and continues to take place within The Way. Before the site was reformatted, that was stated clearly on the front page. Perhaps you haven't been here long enough to remember that. It does appear to me, as indicated by some of your responses, JJ, that you haven't had the opportunity to explore some of the areas of discussion that have appeared here over the years, such as speaking in tongues, the Advanced Class, the law of believing and many more topics. If there is a specific area of concern in the videos you've posted, perhaps you could start a thread in the doctrinal forum to narrow the discussion a bit.