Leaderboard

The Pregnancy Policy What kind of board of directors legislates pregnancy policy to their employees? Forget diving into all the details......what gives them the right to insert when a couple should or shouldn't get pregnant and have children? Craig, Don and Howard all signed off on this? Doesn't this policy obliterate all kinds of issues about a woman's right over her body and conception? What about legalities? Is this even legal? [And please......don't start a legal-issues argument on this thread. Thanks.] Did this kind of thinking and policy connect all the way back to victor paul wierwille? Yep. It. Was. A. Cult. The Pet Policy On this one, the first sentence, the foundational directive..........Effective March 25, 1998, larger pets ("serious pets") such as cats, dogs, horses, reptiles and some birds will not be allowed by full-time Staff. Of course, when my wife and I read this, "Who has horses or reptiles or birds?".........but I digress.... The bigger issue, the MAIN POINT is......What gives the trustees the right to give these orders that affect our lives? Did every financial issue connect back to the needs-basis doctrine of wierwille......or what was it? NOW, it was personal. We had a dog, a rescue dog....a poodle mix. Our older son had turned 12 years old and summer was near. My wife was deeply involved in this and knew, with that deep-instinct of a mother's love, that our son needed the companionship of a young dog. Not a puppy with all its early needs, but a one-year old rescue dog from the shelter. A very dear and long-standing family corps woman, Jean G!les T0mko (mother of Paul G!les...corps grad) was like "the grandmother" that our boys never had encouraged it as well. [Note: My deprogramming episode was STILL rippling out its effects.....our two boys never really had that son/grandparent relationship.] Jean and her husband (a wonderful military veteran) through the years offered to babysit our boys several overnight weekends (Sat/Sun).....it blessed them immensely and my wife and I felt is was deeply healthy for the boys. Anyways......nine months prior to this "pet policy" my wife, son and Jean had gone to the rescue shelter and brought this dog home. Jean insisted on buying several dog items, because her heart was invested into our growing boys. She was, again, "Grandma" to our sons. When this policy went into effect, we had to get rid of this dog. My little twelve-year old son's heart was crushed and he sobbed for days while we looked to find a new home for his "little companion." Jean, too, was deeply saddened by this whole ordeal. The rippling effects of this pet policy on my family brought a deep, profound sadness to my heart.....opening the passageway to the haunting memories of my captivity, and my mom and dad. My son who had this growing desire to be a veterinarian.......floundered in this emotional turbulence of losing his little dog, Sandi. **Fast forward to leaving this cult........ into the years ahead, and now 19 years later: Our son graduated from college summa cum laude Received the chancellor award in medical school Selected as one of eighteen in nation for one year, intern yr, at sloan kettering (manhattan) Received intern of year award of those 18 Today.....a brain/spinal oncologist in top-tier cancer hospital So, readers......please indulge me as I pause..................to give a one-finger salute to the cult puppeteers, past and present.

And that would be God being kind to them... Chocky, your "news footage" well represents the wreck of Wayfers' lives after TWI and the "road to Damascus" that opened our eyes to the evil of TWI. Clearly JYdL hasn't had that epiphany yet. I knew JY and liked him, knew his wife a bit better, lovely lass. But I think the only way I could take JY seriously now, would be if he posted a public repentance on the TWI website in a prominent position, and wrote a letter of apology to people here and on other exWay sites. Not holding my breath for that.

I remember this period of time well. It sucked @$$. Sorry for the vulgarity folks, but that simply is the most distinct and easy way I could describe it. Working as 2 fulltime people, on 1 salary that didn't match current costs of living. With debt, firing, stigmatization, shunning teetering on one side of the scale, and a salary dreamed up by idiots living in the rural midwest where costs are a fraction of the coasts on the other side of the scale. And the only possible way to survive is accept food from kind-hearted souls against the bribery policy. Then on top of it Hefner there at the top implementing cost cutting measures. Why do the people always have to pay for the spiritual dumb@$$ mistakes of the elite? I mean it was his failed revelation getting everyone to quit their jobs in the first place. Why doesn't he pay for the mistake? Au contraire, Hef is smoking cigars, wearing velvet jackets, traveling to Bermuda on vacation sending all us peon Corps pictures to hang up on our refrigerator while we plan WTF we can do for free on staycation in the local area. S-u-c-k-e-d @-$-$

I must say, skyrider, the story of human drama is compelling beyond words, and the truth in life's twists are not something anyone could invent. Your account of your deprogramming, the life's choice you faced, the difficulties of truth, family, marriage, and your future hanging in the balance, those speak so very loudly as to the impact that a cult has on one's life, and how life's path isn't always easy and follows twists and turns you never expect. A different choice in life's direction at a critical time, and all the lives of your children would not be there. I have so much of that tangled up in my life too. Family over the course of one's life is so much more important than we realize at 20 years old. I have wonderful, beautiful, smart, strong, and talented children, all of whom would not exist if I never joined this cult. Their grandparents, along with us, can certainly appreciate the duality of life and choices in our history.

A bunch of liars playing the long con because they themselves are trapped. I don't fear them any longer. The mental bonds of their false authority only has effect by acknowledging they have any spiritual authority whatsoever. My feelings are the God I know would laugh in their face at their condescending authoritative posturing and gets sick to His stomach at them biting and devouring one another to gain political power and them feeding themselves making themselves fat on the calamity of others.

Part V The Music Played On The music of the cult played on........even though the money iceberg of 1998 sideswiped the lower hull. A select few would remain in their seats and keep playing despite the circumstances, but others weren't listening. The real music of our hearts was much different than what the cult ensemble had nearby. Rather, it was the music below deck, memories from years before.....far away from the elites, the arrogance of the cigar bars and dinner parties, who'd stroll along the upper decks by day and by night put on their white ties and diamonds......the music of the steerage folk. This music was pulse-pounding and alive. The Music of 1981 After the intervention, the music of my heart played on. I married my bride in September. Weddings are those private moments of the heart.....the vows, the exchange of rings, two lives joined, the solemn kiss, and the hopes and dreams stretching into the future. And, we embraced those special songs of our hearts hoping they'd beat is romantic rhythm. Maybe its the romanticist in me, but I've always loved weddings. When wierwille did those "mass weddings" at Emporia, I observed the impersonal parading of couples on what should have been their special day, especially for the brides. Why couldn't wierwille step down from his narcissistic pedestal and teach these truths of personal treasured moments? Wedding days held the vows of promise and love.......and I enjoyed my involvement as a wedding planner those couple of years. The Music of 1982 I suppose it would seem strange to many, but I really enjoyed being the department coordinator of warehousing. The day-to-day involvement, the fast-paced decision-making as basically eight different departments utilized its access. Lots of dedicated people, steerage folk, moving about the day focused on things that they, too, found worthwhile. I didn't have to be in the spotlight to hear, and enjoy, the music. The Music of 1983 The High Country Caravan series was not my style of music....and, probably took some coercion for many to get involved and take the stage, but nonetheless......it opened, for me, the doors to see the Grand Ole Opry. I got to walk thru the back stage areas and past the dressing rooms and memorabilia of roy acuff and minnie pearl. The "music of the cult played on".........but at least, I wasn't in sea org in scientology. The Music of 1984 Those three years in Canada will always be the music that I treasure. We flew up there on a Friday March 2nd and officially were assigned the country coordinators on March 4th......(yeah, march forth). But again, the music was the melody of the canadian believers who danced to a variety of genres from british columbia to new brunswick. I was on their dance floor, down below in steerage, trying to gain the rhythm of their lives. It wasn't the cult music that I remember at all.......this music made me want to dance the night away. SO.....when some people ask me, "why did you stay so long in that cult?".....much of the time, I wasn't listening to their music at all. I was listening to the music that moved my heart.

In studying the deceptive tactics of wierwille and co. to advance their agenda, with a sullied and sordid list that stretches from plagairism to predation to posthumously preachment, the bottom of the bottom line was......the manipulation of one's consent. Thread after thread, I cannot help but see that twi is the usurper of the core of the individual, one's consent. Whether its in written form, or verbal, or nonverbal condoning......twi continues its spiritual assault on their followers UNTIL THEY RESIST. As long as one stays in that 'relationship of insubordination'.....twi leadership are in control of your life. You are allowing it. Perhaps, the mindset is so ingrained with such spiritual abuse, that the twi follower is unaware of its prowess, and its damaging effects. Whether....1)Incrementalism, 2)Hold the microphone--Hold the power, 3)Instruction vs Indoctrination, 4)Reeducation Camps at HQ, 5)Most Fiery Confrontations Leveled at Dissenting Leaders, 6)Corps: The Leash Gets Shorter...etc. etc.....every stage, every program, twi is targeting YOUR CONSENT OF APPROVAL. Of course, the early stages involve love-bombing and aggressive undershepherding and keeping you away from your friends, family and co-workers. And obviously, the pfal class and subsequent classes have no room for dialogue and questioning the material. The droning of information is overloading your brain circuits.....DECEPTIVELY AND INTENTIONALLY. In the mid-'70s, one of those deprogrammers claimed that "The Way International was one of the most deceptive and subtle cults in America." Unlike other dramatic cults of that era where Moonies sold flowers and Jim Jones' followers set up a Jonestown commune.....the way ministry was not like that. After all, even Bud Morgan endorsed its message with the film 'Changed' featuring the Str@uh@l Family and events surrounding PFAL '77. Yet......how many took notice that the Str@uh@l family exited a few years later? One consent and one step at a time, twi strengthened its power. Having finished the advanced class, twi sent out a form letter stating to the grad that, now, he/she 'owed his life to the ministry.' Ballsy, huh? What an outrageous claim! What a power-grab of individuality! The proper response should have been......A ONE-FINGER SALUTE. In isolation and behind closed doors, the corps program was a 'power grab of consent' in one full swoop. Many, of which I am one, perceived it more along the lines of bait-n-switch. Yes, I'd signed on the line for christian service.....BUT I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS! My mind swirled with rebellion in the first month of that inresidency year! Why so many classes? Always? Why can't we have a night off to enjoy the sunset? Are you kidding me?....self-structure time on Saturday is from 1-4:30pm....BFD! And really, you dumb-shxts don't have to regulate my aerobic point. I'm so d@mn tired of sitting in classes....I WANT TO RUN AND GET OUT OF THIS PLACE. From newbie to clergy........twi has devised a system of usurping one's consent. At no point along this chain do you hear, "Why don't you go home and pray for the Lord's guidance and see what He has in store for you?" Each step, each time you consent....the doors to this secret temple lead you down another passageway. Whether there's 33-layers to this pyramid, in Masonic-like structure, I don't really care to know....but what I do know? The deeper in you go, the more non-Christian its virtues. By the grace of God, I found my way out. And, today I stand strong on individual liberty and will not let it go. No longer will I allow groupthink to sway my integrity or my morals. Giving away one's consent...is giving away one's life. Proverbs 1:10 My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.

The announcement that you, Jean-Yves, will be twi's next president has reached GreaseSpot Café. Knowing you from those early days in Quebec City, and your WOW year in Toronto.......I am not surprised that you rose up thru the ranks of leadership. Clearly, in your former years, you had discipline, drive and heart-felt compassion for others. When you were assigned to one of Toronto's WOW teams, I personally made sure that Rene and Sonia [ if I remember her name correctly] were in your WOW-family.....Rene needed extra attention being wheel-chair bound, and Sonia was so innocent, lovely and beautiful that I knew you'd be the right person to help them. And, after your in-residence year......I was honored to perform your and Michele's wedding in 1988. As twi continued to endure Chris Geer's call to "return back to the wierwille-indoctrination doctrine" with his arrogance assertions......twi went thru turbulent times, for sure. Martindale, Don and Howard were thrown back on their heels and were reeling in a defensive posture for a number of years. During this time, you and Michele were staffers at headquarters and saw much of the destruction of people's lives. Yes, for 28 years......you have been intricately ensconced at the upper-tier levels of twi-hierarchy and groomed by "leadership" at hq and therefore, removed from understanding the emotional, physical and spiritual abuse that has been thrust upon the followers. I am saddened, Jean-Yves, to see that you never connected the dots of this abuse and evil. The scriptures give us wholesale examples of how the Pharisees burdened the people with guilt, shame, and fear to maintain their positions of power. You see, Jean-Yves.......there are reasons why some 480 clergy and 3,000 corps grads no longer follow the doctrine or tenets of wierwillism. The mog-doctrine was a fraud perpetrated by wierwille to enrich his power base and control over the youth. Even back then, the older folk were abandoning him left and right......as even wierwille had noted that time and time again. And, when wierwille schemed to offer the sunset corps an "opportunity" to build a cabin at their expense at Camp Gunnison [that twi would later inherit upon that person's death]......NOT ONE ELDERLY CORPS PERSON bought into it. Notice how the elder corps were skeptical and suspicious of wierwille's shenanigans.....even though they were "corps trained?" Clearly, the days of Rosalie's tenure as president has been little more than manage the perceptions......after all, twi really doesn't have a research department any more, do they? And, the teachings are bland regurgitations that were scoffed at even by wierwille's pfal class renderings of religious veneer. Why would a "spirit-filled believer with all power" NEED to read his/her sermon? And then, is there really any full-sharing fellowship going on......or are people just going thru the motions? I think, if you were really honest......you know the answer. So....its not really a "Research, Teaching and Fellowship Ministry" is it? Perhaps, you will slip into the big chair and be able to make BIG CHANGES during your tenure......to elevate Jesus Christ in his rightful and honored place as lord, savior, and mediator between God and man. Perhaps......you will turn the ship 180 degrees and get back to true Christian values where believers are guided by holy spirit within. Perhaps.....you will be able to clean the ranks of arrogant and abusive leaders that have sat in their seats of power at headquarters for 30+ years. But if you are going to make any difference whatsoever......you will have to keep Rosalie and Donna from whispering in your ear on a weekly basis. All the best to you, Jean-Yves. Just know that "the power of that office" is not of any significance in the sight of God......UNLESS you use it for good, to unburden and heal the brokenhearted and those [still] in captivity. [Luke 4:18] .

I'm right there with you, Skyrider . . . Let the salutes begin!

Will you please allow me to join you in that one-finger salute to the cult puppeteers, past and present?

A cat is a "large pet"? I have two and maintained them even though for a couple of years I was on unemployment benefit (less than "need" basis). Litter and food cost me about £4pw and IT WAS WORTH IT for the companionship. (no insurance on them, though. Illness... vet bills... might have been curtains. Thankfully, not happened yet. Skyrider, I know this pet policy is only a very small point in your narrative. The whole of what you have posted on this thread is just so enormous and intrusive that I have no words to express my own resentment at your treatment! How are you supposed to live, with your wife and two growing kids, on $27K? Wouldn't be so bad if you knew that the trustees and their own "needs" were being curtailed too... hahahahahaha.

Oh man! I am (positively) overwhelmed, Skyrider, as I read these personal accounts of you and your family while in twi. I am finding myself experiencing so many personal memories of my own as I read your perspectives. What is happening mainly, though, is a really healthy and cathartic feeling of deep understanding within myself about my own time in twi. I am feeling a personal sense of liberation with every new bit of understanding that seems to come to me as I read your words! It's really a bit difficult to describe ... but the overwhelming result is a pure, positive catharsis! Thank you soooo very much for your generosity of spirit to take the time to share these personal recollections and experiences. Your sharing them is having a deep and positive impact on me. I feel so grateful to you!

.......I've been known to go back and edit some typos and errors, so it might change until that edit button disappears. .......wish I'd had an "edit button" when life was unfolding before my eyes, in real time.

To Rocky...........I knew you'd get that dig. Every March 4th, I had something different in mind. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ To All.................Only 2 or 3 chapters left in "my book." I should be able to wrap this up in a week, or less. Next chapter is "The Price We Paid."................but still.................The music played on.......

Do I pay them or do they pay me? Happy New Year!

i think in general TWI has been running on automatic pilot for a long time...you automatically go to fellowships at the scheduled time....automatically give them your money ...blah, blah, blah, blah....automatically, of course

great tune, HG-30! love that haunting sax ! another tune from that year (1978) by one of my wife's favorites - Warren Zevon (in YouTube below he's doing it live in '82) artist's poetic license to change his own words - werewolves of New Joisey

Thank you for taking the time to share your story. It is not easy to make the leap to leave something you knew practically your whole life. Once the leap is made, as you have seen, healing can begin. I wish you well in your new adventure. I heard SIT and interpretation OVER & OVER for years and years in my discontent where God promised: I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU. I WILL NEVER FORSAKE YOU. This is confirmed by Scriptures. This is the truth. He loves you. He loves me. There is nothing we can do that will make Him love us less. There is nothing we can do to make Him love us more. God is LOVE. That's what he does,and that is who He is. Happy New Year!

(((Skyrider))) I have no words....<---------she said with jaw ajar.

(((((((Skyrider))))))) my heart goes out to you man! what an agonizing experience...just reading about your abduction / deprogramming attempt is upsetting...you truly are a strong, resilient, and brave soul!

One of my all time favourite songs Enjoy

Thanks for the welcome TBONE Like the mug and coffee It was shocking to hear Emily story about c.o.g it was also warming to know that we had both had similar experiences.I had something in common with her and it was easy to relate.Greasepot cafe has also been a great platform as former members here like myself share our experiences with each other which is why I'm grateful to the admin Pawtucket and team It has been 2 going on 3 years since I have been out.Oftentimes I think about friends still in twi as i took myself of social media.I'm learning block by block to put my life in order.Time does wonders and it goes by fast which is why I plan alot and prioritize I'm glad you and high school friend were able to connect I get nostalgic thinking about my times and the good fun I had at high school Anyways you take care I shall see around the cafe and anytime you need a refill mate I got ya Thanks Twinky Kia ora and thanks for welcome Enemy number 2 look out now!! In my opinion NZ twi is not really the best look it has turned more into a 'merry go round' same members ,same teachings, same agenda and much more.No growth no life no fun.Being under USa twi nz still has to go by standards set by usa and yes Twinky there are some good folks there but sadly with their blindfolds on With all due respect to Allan I applaud him for exposing the evil hyprocisy he saw.He was such a target in the 90s the way did all they could to tarnish his name and legacy.Paint him as the bad guy.But as we all have seen and heard here or even some/most members have experienced,it doesn't matter if you have been standing on' the word' for 60 50 40 30 20 years your name and legacy will be spat on and hung out to dry the moment you do right and walk out.Meetings will be called ,you will be discussed about at fellowship and some lies will be fabricated about you the good you done will never be mentioned.Some stories I heard about members gone before me,legacy ripped apart not to be mentioned, photos containing that member to be thrown in bin not so much mark and avoid now but more subtle.Personally I don't care what was said about me I'm just grateful to be 'mentally free' Coffees getting cold il pm you Twinky

Day Nine: Sunday, May 3rd Intervention to Half-way House The deprogrammers had gone the night before. Plans were to leave the house. Around 9am or so, I was told that we were headed to the airport. My parents had arranged for me to spend time at a half-way house in Iowa City, IA. My parents had hopes that this intervention had worked, their struggle to release me had paid off.......and soon this episode of travail would cease and be washed from memory. I was reserved in my demeanor.....of which, I presumed they took that as progress. At the airport, I would be parting ways with my dad.......he would drive home; my mom would ride in the plane with me to Iowa City. My uncle owned this plane and one of his employees would pilot this flight. Again, not commercial travel......to keep distance as best possible, just in case. The time, effort and expense that went into this intervention, and forthcoming re-hab, only seemed to exemplify the lengths of forethought and preparation to do all of this. It was gut-wrenching......the slow-motion, churning emotional turmoil of seeing all this......having planned classes, meetings, events, understanding what effort it takes to pull off something of this magnitude.....knowing deep within, that I was headed back to twi, and my fiancé....just biding my time for the right moment. As we stood in the lobby, waiting for the plane.....I asked my dad for some coin change for the vending machine. They had given me back my wallet with my driver's license in it.....but not one single dollar. I had no money and thought some a couple of dimes and/or quarters would be needed to make a phone call [and I was right]. My dad embraced me with a long, hug good-bye and my mom got aboard the plane seated next to me. We flew to Iowa City.....someone from the re-hab place was there to drive us to my next "house." I carried my luggage, with new clothes.....six or seven new shirts, jeans, etc. everything different to erase the cult-memories from my life..... into the house, up the stairs into my newly-assigned room. Across the hall was another "cult guy" (I believe hare krishna) who'd been there for like three weeks. He greeted me and extended his hand. I was told to unpack my bags, put things in "my" dresser and closet......and in 10 minutes we'd have a meeting downstairs in the family room to go over schedule and new guidelines. As I stood at that dresser and looked in at myself in the mirror, I listened to the voices downstairs. I waited for another couple of minutes to pass.....then, went quietly down the stairs, peeked around the corner....slipped across the small hallway and out the side door. Only the clothes on my back and the coin change in my pocket. This was the first time I'd been alone, without someone closely monitoring my ever move and confined........it was frighteningly exhilarating. I was paranoid of "them" chasing me down, somehow--someway. My legs felt slow to respond; I'd been confined for that length of time with no exercise. A car turned the corner towards me. Was it one of them? I turned into an alley....anything, to keep out of view. Another two blocks and I spotted railroad tracks that crossed over a river.....I followed the railroad tracks, no car could follow. On the other side was a commercial strip with a denny's restaurant. I went in and reached into my pocket for the change and made a collect call to headquarters. The receptionist, Adele, answered the phone and when I told her my name, she accepted the collect call immediately. Everyone there was praying for me. I was on the prayer list in the OSC prayer room. She put me thru to Howard Allen. He told me to stay put and an 8th corps guy in Iowa City would be there in fifteen minutes to pick me up and drive me to Des Moines to the limb to spend the night Day Ten: Monday, May 4th Flight to Headquarters In the morning, my flight was around 8:30am and headed to Dayton......and there was my fiancé waiting for me, with tears streaming down her face. Twi's security guys, linder and brooks, were there to take us to hq. ~~~~~~~~~ Seven years passed before I saw my parents again.......to begin the slow process of any semblance of reconciliation.

skyrider, I can totally relate to the personal toll it takes to surface some of these stories. Sleepless nights, dreams in turmoil, digging back in to some of the abuse I had pushed to the corners of my mind. Then I also go through a wave of guilt over why I didn't see it sooner, because if I did maybe I could have started rebuilding sooner. Guilt over being a supporter of these sycophants for many years. Guilt over how much of my life's wages income I've sent to these Pharisees, the hours I slaved away furthering their cause, listening to their every extended stupid rule and regulation, and with each compliant decision I was giving away more and more of my soul. I was a mid-level manager for an organization whose function was to steal people's souls and lives and use them up to further sycophantic whims totally different that what they portray in public. When I get over the illogical emotion, I know it wasn't my fault. The emotional toll however, is one easy way to see the fruit of the organization. People don't go through this selecting a different church to go to in town from the one they were experiencing. It's not easy, that's for sure. What is the alternative though? Keeping the deluded mindset of how fantastic of an apostle, pastor, evangelist, pastor or teacher I was, the overall importance of the positions I held, and all the fake friends I amassed?

Jason Bourne-esque is a very apt description of what we experienced and your link to Manipulation of One’s Consent thread fits in so well. Some things came to mind. In the first movie Bourne suffered amnesia after being shot and falling into the sea. Whereas, from vp and other leadership we were encouraged to forget our old way of life. Part of his recovery was remembering / realizing how the Treadstone program changed him – indoctrinated him to another way of life. As the Bourne story unfolds Jason also realizes he himself consented to become this other person. Yes there were those above him who took advantage of his patriotism – his altruistic or idealistic tendencies; but Jason Bourne does not put all the blame on others. I think that is a healthy way to handle the issues I’ve found in my head. If you don’t do that – it’s only addressing one part of a compound problem....Yeah vp lied like it was going out of style – but I happened to believe whatever he said was true! Sometimes disentangling oneself from a cult can be a very tedious mental exercise as you deconstruct the mindset. Skyrider thanks for all the insight and experiences you’ve shared…I know revisiting some stuff can be painful…makes me think of when I was in construction – the pain and discomfort of splinters. They hurt like hell and you’re afraid to mess with them cuz it will hurt some more but if you leave them in there they’ll fester and get worse. It’s best to remove them. I used to carry tweezers and even needle nose pliers in my tool pouch.

Still on Pause: Prep Time As you see from the links, many GSC-posters have added different perspectives and lots of insight to spur on discussion. Many posters have moved on in life and no longer visit Paw's Café......but their pictures are on the walls all around. And to those posters still here....a significant amount of credit goes to them. Last night was a really tough night for me......the wave upon wave of memories shook me to my core. I haven't explored those deeply personal experiences of my 10-day captivity for over two decades.....not like that. I swore to have "thrown away the key." All the other timeline stuff is more accessible to my memory banks. I honestly thought I'd just skip the deprogramming episode, but now think that it's an integral part .... and perhaps, the central core....to exposing the cult. Another day or so....and I plan to "go to the depths of titanic on the ocean floor" to share it with you. .

I understand. Something similar happened to me as I was preparing and writing what I did. As much as I'd like to know the rest of the story, I don't want you to suffer pain in the process. We can wait.

The accumulative effect of these postings washed over my heart and soul last night.......I didn't fall asleep until after 3:30am. To be honest, for a couple of hours......I deeply evaluated whether I wanted to continue this thread or not. Even after I posted the pause button........the flickering of flashbacks continued until exhaustion gave way to sleep.....a restless sleep. Thank you for your words of encouragement and support. I appreciate it deeply. ~~~~~~~~~~ Still on Pause: Introspection These repressed memories had been flickering in my deep subconscious, more acutely, since 1996. At the risk of targeted symbolism, or mixing metaphors......the only way I can describe it is "jason bourne-esque." I knew deep within that somehow who I am and what I had become got altered, indoctrinated. With each new assignment, my skill sets were enhanced by "injections and blue pills" that made me dependent on consistent upgrades. The anguish struggle to find its starting point.....the "why" and "how" it happened was haunting my sleep, my very existence going forward. Those 10 days of deprogramming captivity were an abduction and intervention......my parents were immeasurably alarmed by the "cocaine of this cult." And further, they believed that my corps graduation would lead to more enhanced addiction. They were absolutely right.....and their love and parental concern for their son drove them to pursue this dramatic episode. But.....to their utter disappointment, I slipped away and ran back to my cult addiction and its "cocaine." In deviating from the "jason bourne" version, I met with the man (wierwille) who devised and implemented the hyper indoctrination and thus, continued on more assigned operations. Those assignments continued for years......until the poignant flashbacks, the struggle and grappling of self emerged to unravel my past. The deeper truths of those 10 days of captivity were still allusive to me when I sat with wierwille. I was still addicted to its cause and influence at the time .....and only years later, have I come to grips with the crushing realization of how it all happened. Just like bourne, I volunteered. Each incremental step lead to an outcome I didn't quite expect or endorse. I was deceived step by step......and allowed it to happen. Who were the real deprogrammers? Twi or "my captors"....?? Manipulation of One's Consent .

Thanks Skyrider!! So much excellent firsthand information and insight. Thanks again for all your time and effort in the series of posts you have given us. Very interesting to me, since I was gone by 1986. I can relate to all your details and yet, I am astounded at how rotten da forehead and all the boyz in the hoods became. Thanks again!

Skyrider Thank you very much for sharing these hardhitting personal life stories. Im ready to give my background in the next couple of days in the new member area Oh and btw Happy new year 2017 to all GSC posters

Happy New Year Everyone: This will be my last post today, so I wanted to wish you all a Happy New 2017 Year. I plan to watch lots of football, eat snacks and later.....enjoy a couple of Jack and Cokes (maybe, three....just to defy any lingering two-drink limit data that needs deleted from waybrain). Most likely, unless someone comes along with a five million dollar publishing bonus, up front.......this series of posts will be "the book I never wrote, but should have." It does seem fitting though (as of this posting)......today marks the 100th year of victor paul wierwille's birth. A man who claimed to be on a quest to help people........left a wake of devastation. ~~~~~~~~~~ Endings -- New Beginnings: The 1997 Year was ending and......this 1998 Year would be the year that me and my family exited twi never to return. This certainly would be "new beginnings" for the rest of our lives. Should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind...i.e. Auld Lang Syne......apples/oranges I suppose according to context of song vs acquaintances in a cult. Whatever. To me, there's a vast difference between the hierarchy of this cult and the people caught in its web. I have many wonderful memories of people.....unique, loving, individuals.....who were in, or now out, of twi. Personally, I resent the labels and grouping of people....i.e. corps, corps spouse, corps alumni, advanced class grads, etc......but to effectively communicate and expose this cult, I don't see another effective method to convey its tentacles. Should I reverse the groupings? Why all the labeling of corps this, corps that.....as if they are the most important? They aren't (more important).....just more intricately connected to the levels of power and abuse. Adios, 1997.......... ~~~~~~~~~~ When I'm in a reflective mood, as I will be today.........I see individuals, special and unique. Those whom my wife and I love and have loved thru the years. Those still at hq.....in canada.....in oklahoma.....and those, here in indiana. I hold no bitterness to any of them. I wish them well. Some who've exited are dear friends from decades past and now we spend time enjoying them, their kids and grandbabies........but there are still others who are ensnared. If that's their choice to stay, then happy living. But if some are institutionalized by coercion and deception.......there is a way out. Thanks, in large part to GSC, more are re-connecting with loved ones of their past.....and stirred onward to embrace new beginnings, new relationships. All the best.....to all of you. Happy New Year. See you in 2017. Football, snacks and drinks......woohoo.