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I agree with Rocky. Keep sharing, Skyrider. Take it from me, telling one's personal story is revealing, not only to readers, but to the writer. So write on! Tell us more about the experience whenever you feel so inclined. Cheers!

Peggy's Funeral Was Personal: I had gone for my morning run, leaving the house at 5:40am. It was still dark, but the air was mild and the city streets were relatively quiet....and I hadn't even broken a sweat when a car flashed its lights and pulled up beside me. My wife had been out driving the neighborhood looking for me. Tim, Peggy's husband, had phoned and said Peggy had sudden cardiac arrest and an emergency response team was headed to their home. Quickly, we drove to their place.... about 14 blocks away. The response team was there in the bedroom.....trying to revive her. She had stopped breathing minutes ago......before we arrived. No response. I closed my eyes and prayed to God......a few more minutes passed and the realization of her passing had set in. Peggy was gone; she'd taken her last breath. I had never been in the room when someone took their last breath, nor did it happen here.....just minutes too late. This one's going to sting; Rod and Jo loved her dearly. This death required a phone call to the region guy......and would reach rev. martindale within two hours. Craig made the announcement at the hq-noon meal......and went on a lengthy spiel about exercise and good cardiovascular health, or something like that. He also made mention of it at our next corps meeting. So, yeah.....it was deeply personal for me. Peggy's sole reason for coming to Oklahoma was to fulfill a need......namely, be the twig coordinator in Stillwater, Oklahoma for rod and jo and a few others. She'd been in Wisconsin....and her leadership felt this would be a good fit for her growing desire to serve. She accepted. I helped her transition into the t.c. position.....later, performed her wedding.....and now, her funeral. And, to put in context.....what I'd posted earlier: ....................When Peggy died, her brother in Florida was on probationary status in lieu of twi-mandates. Bob Moneyhands phoned me to let me know, in his stern opinion, that this guy should NOT be allowed at the funeral or around the believers. This brother would be calling me within the hour, he said. And.....he did. We talked for about 5 minutes and I told him.....absolutely, he should come and attend his sister's funeral and call me when he arrived in OKC. The days passed quickly as we scurried around with all the details of the funeral. Four days later, and this brother called me. He had arrived in town. We made every effort to ease his depth of hurt and sorrow. After the funeral, I invited him to the limb home to join several of us at supper, snacks, a movie and/or just hang out. He nearly cried when I offered this invitation. Nothing was really planned.....just kickin' back and living life was on the evening's agenda. Keeping. It. Simple. And. Loving. -------before leaving that evening, this brother gave me a big bear hug. He left OKC a changed man. Lost all respect for Bob Moneyhands after that phone call. .

Your story IS compelling. Many people DO reflect and examine their lives... those who do (I figure) often find it very rewarding. Stephen King's magnum opus, the novel and mini-series 11-22-63 is ALL about the notion of going back in time to change events. I LOVED the novel (all 800+ pages of it). The mini-series was wonderful too but in different ways. The bottom line is that the book was absolutely an object lesson for me in how changing course would change everything. By all means, keep sharing. Including excerpts of your 36-page deprogramming record if you're willing.

The Question Is Always.......Why? Why......did you stay so long? Why......didn't you leave when you saw red flags? Why......didn't you just leave the corps program and walk? Why......didn't you confront wierwille/martindale on this? One of the reasons for telling my story is........because I think it's a compelling story. In the process of living life, I unearthed me.....the things deep down, the things I value, what I stand for, and what I will not stand for, why I refuse to quit when things get rough, the inner core of what I want my kids to know about me......yeah, who I really am. Do other people search deep into their hearts in earnest? I don't know. Perhaps, it was all that open space and thought time while driving tractors on the farm. I could probably trace its roots all the way back to my childhood.....when I pondered at the stars in the night sky. But really......its when I went off to college that I took those first steps of my journey. Should I regret my involvement in twi? To a small degree, yes.......but mainly, no. Why "the small degree, yes?"........because I regret the estrangement that was built between me and my parents via lack of communication, sudden changes, foolish spontaneity, and weird behavior (zeal in an obscure cult). How could they possibly understand my dropping out of college, going wow ambassador two years, back to back? They were perplexed and frightened.....and I seemed to be "behind a wall" to them. Years later, when I was months away from corps graduation.......they really thought they'd lose me forever (ex-communicated like scientology people), so my parents paid something in the neighborhood of $16,000 to get me deprogrammed from this cult. They were ready and willing to do it for my fiancé as well. They were right from the get-go...about twi. A parents' love looks different when you're a young adult.....as opposed to when, decades later, you look back. Suffice it to say, after this 10-day episode and I went back to twi.....my parents were deeply broken. And, even though I regained a small measure of that relationship back ten years before my father's death......the wounds were scarred in sorrow. This deprogramming episode was/is on both sides of my measuring "regret." As for "mainly, no?"........sure, I despise the corps indoctrination and exploitation et al, but I can't, deep within my heart, regret going into the corps, and on staff at hq......because, only on this path would I have continued to grow in love with this beautiful woman whom I, later, married. We were separated from one another during my final in-residence year and writing letters back and forth, love-planning for our lives together. But an unforeseen detour awaited us......don't they always? During my corps block at Camp Gunnison, my parents came to visit unannounced on a Friday afternoon in late April. Tom J., the corps coordinator, told me I couldn't leave grounds, but rather could go out to breakfast with them in town the next morning. So, my parents left and got a motel room in Gunnison. In the morning, my parents picked me up at camp gunnison, at the gate, and we went to breakfast. Deceptively, they'd schemed a plan involving stopping back at their motel room before buying me some new clothes. Little did I realize the four men, thugs, who rushed thru the motel door and body-slammed me on the bed.....then, bound my hands, duct-tapped my legs together and gagged me before carrying me to a cargo van headed to Kansas. Gone without a trace. My fiancé worried and wondered. Twi sent out "enforcers" to my hometown to find me and bring me back...with no success. Ten days of deprogramming tactics.....[weeks later, I typed 36-pages detailing the account]. After the deprogramming, and slipping out the side door of that half-way house......I was flown to the Dayton airport, greeted by my fiancé and twi's security unit en route back to hq. After corps graduation, we were married in the brc and worked on staff. We have two wonderful sons. Thankfully, we exited before the gaunlet of classes and indoctrination. that awaited them. I could brag about them both.....their achievements and success. Isn't this the kind of drama, struggle, obstacles, pain, love and redemption that movie-goers go to see? To go "back in time" and change my twi-involvement, would change everything in my life. Why did I stay so long? Because.......I was waiting for the confluence of multiple variables to flow together. I was waiting for the right moment where all of us, together, could jump and roll.....and walk away uninjured. The right spot, the right conditions.....helping others, too, if we could.....before jumping. I remember someone once said....."It's not what we do in life that we regret...it's what we don't do." I was doing what I thought was right.

Four Funerals, Four Months: Not sure why funerals seem to come in spurts, but they did......for me anyways. Quite often, these funerals were a parent or relative of the believers who didn't have a home church or pastor. So, what's a twi-clergyman to do? Turn them down? Tell them you only do funerals for household believers? I had no idea what my region guy would have said......I never asked. If I can't walk in love and help others, then fire me and find some other guy.........I have one standard: love thy neighbor as thyself. And, funerals take a lot of love. I never minded doing funerals or weddings....like some in twi. To me, it was an open door to be intimately involved in peoples' lives. It grounded me in reality.....and kept, intact, my sanity from bizarre, blundering buffoons in Ohio. Yeah, that was my attitude.......and still is. For years, even before things got real crazy......I said that I never should have gone in the corps. And, by extension......I know that I didn't abide by the wierwille/martindale frame of clergy. But the clergymen I chose to model were Rev. Ross Tra-cy, Rev. Lonne1l J0hnson, and Rev. A.J. Berr3ta. And, they'd all left twi years before.

The Book I Will Never Write: My goal is to finish this thread with personal experiences and insights of this martindale era. For years on GSC, I've "talked about a book I should write"........well, this is it. Hopefully, I've still got some material that will be of interest to many......and, if Pawtucket keeps the doors open here, who knows how many will come to read this timeline. Charlene did such a masterful job of writing Undertow......it covers all the pertinent deception and underbelly of cult control in the way international. Lots of depth and exposure to the "biblical research" elements. I plan to finish posting this timeline, because I said I would..........or die trying.

No More Twi-Policy Additions: I will NOT be adding any more long-form "twi-policy positions" to this thread......links (maybe), but no more full-length documented forms and dissecting their component parts. All of that is just "too much in the weeds" and puts ugly policies in the spotlight. My purpose is to expose the personal, destructive nature of the beast......and spear it to death.