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Defining Moments in Time: I grew up on a wheat farm six miles from a small, rural town. Our farm house was small and my three brothers and I slept in the basement with concrete floors.......and the winters were bitterly cold. But life was good. My kindergarten class was in a country schoolhouse four miles northeast and grades k-8 numbered around 32 students. Yes, a country school house......and I chuckle to myself, "How old ARE you?" And, no......I didn't walk to school, barefoot. (haha) I still have a framed picture of those 32 students, with my three older brothers, from that little country schoolhouse. The next year my parents made the decision that we would start going to the public school in town, because the school bus drove right by our house each morning and studies, along with team sports, would help expand our growth. Besides the wheat farming, we had corn and alfalfa to irrigate. I was nine years old when my dad thought I was ready to drive the tractor in the field, alone. The fact of the matter was largely due to size not age; when one foot could reach the clutch and the other foot the brake, I was "ready." But hey, I didn't mind.....it made me feel needed and raised my status with my older brothers. The irrigation of the corn and alfalfa took on whole different aspects to manage. For a number of years, we had some cattle and hundreds of sheep. I learned a lot about sheep that embedded deep impressions when, years later, I delved into the scriptures. Life on the farm was a load of challenges and plenty of hard work, but it opened up whole chapters of fond memories of wholesome living. Along with school activities and team sports (football, basketball, golf and track), we were involved in 4-H and I snagged several blue/purple ribbons for my black angus heifers. As farm kids go, we had our share of B-B guns and birdshot to ward off pesky sparrows and vermin attempting to nestle into many of the outbuildings. The first weekend of November each year marked the opening season for pheasant hunting......and, for years, we had relatives who came from out-of-state to join us. Later in life, my dad and one brother spent ten years of time, effort and investment raising 1,000 pheasant and 1,000 quail chicks, each year, [and 80 acres to habitat preservation] and turned them loose in the county....all on his own dime, anonymously. Growing up, we lived 22 miles from the largest lake in the state......so there was water skiing and fishing to be had. Of course, farm work was definitely six days a week, so this wasn't like weekend after weekend. There was work to be done......and my dad started his day, every day, at 4:30am. He did not look favorably on us boys if we were still in bed after 6am......"sleeping in" [anything after 6am] was cause for a stern look. Thinking back on those memories, I recall that phrase....."Tough times make for tough men." I suppose there is some truth to it. With all our diligence and hard work, more prosperity followed......and years later, when all three brothers were off to college and beyond, I traded in my 350 Honda motorcycle for a new 900 Kawasaki [4 carburetors, 112mph in 1/4 mile]. Fast times.....and lots of high school dating. My senior year, our football team was #1 in the state in class C division football. An undefeated season. I played starting halfback on offense and defense. Life was good and fun and memorable. In the spring, I decided to go out for track....even though I'd been on the traveling golf squad my junior year. My track coach was thrilled, my golf coach shrugged. Amongst several events.....100 low-hurdles, 220 yd dash, long jump.....I found a place in the mile relay [each of the 4 guys runs a lap, 440 yards]. We broke the school record three times.....and came in 2nd in the state finals [a school record that held for 28 years]. The following year, I headed off to college......to major in business administration. I really enjoyed the marketing classes my second year, but also had this growing interest for spiritual/biblical truths.......and then, months later, a guy with a nametag who told me he was a "wow-ambassador." Two months later I took pfal.......and repeated pfal class twice more. After the spring semester ended, I dropped out of college........to go WOW. In many way, my recruitment was similar to Charlene's account in Undertow.......change the names, locations, dates......but the recruitment tactics and deceptive marketing of pfal/twi was the same. I was led to believe in "biblical research" and that by God's grace, I could walk circumspectly with that Christ-within spirit. So much of twi's ploy has a basis of truth.......but the "bait and switch" is hidden from view. Systematic and subtle indoctrination. I, too, could write a book......but it would have much of the same content, same guilt/shame/fear cult tactics, warnings from family/friends, conscious and subconscious red-flag warnings, and escaping from deceptive cult. One of the things that I've always contemplated is.......leaving twi is like jumping off a moving train. You know, at some point, that you don't want to go to that destination [an idolatrous end]. You want off.....but you also have a wife and kids in tow. Yeah, I'm ready......are you? Uh oh, the wife is not sure......now what? You can't voice your plans to jump, because others on the train will tell their supervisors....and confrontation will mount from all sides. All those inter-personal relationships.....your "friends" and co-workers, your wife's, your children (activities/friends/school)........when do you jump? Where is there a "soft landing?" Who will be hurt? How will life change? Maybe, I'll write a book entitled, "Just Jump"

Reporting back became one of martindale's constant-drumbeat mandates during those 1993---> corps meetings. When leadership gave a directive, an order......then, follow-up and report back, damnit. The heavy-handed oppression was coupled with micromanagement submission. Why? Reporting back kept the corps in subservient obedience......closely tethered. Authoritarian leaders have a pathological need for control. Martindale did NOT trust the corps to lead and/or serve. All 5 corps principles are slick-sales marketing. Strong leaders know how to select and train apprentices......and successful leaders delegate. During my 24-year tenure in twi, the corps program is not a leadership program.......it's a followship program. Wierwille instilled a "training program" that was the antithesis of his tweaked corps poem. The corps program was suffocating, stifling, oppressive and ensnaring. Gag me that that ".....deeply springing powers of a believer" crap. Sheesh. After watching that latest scientology episode......I'd say that twi was its first cousin. Twi never was a tree.....it was a pyramid. And, wierwille was buried in the tomb of rats.

Life was good BEFORE twi....... Whenever wierwille would boast about twi/pfal.......it often, stirred up memories of my sports background. Whenever someone was inserted into a game, or hogged the ball and spotlight in a basketball game.....we had this term glory-grabber Guess I've always had deeper roots and feel that my rural background defines who I am.........not some cult. It was a detour, yes........but finding my way back to who I really am was there all along. .

When to Jump: By the Fall of 1993, martindale was back in charge of the train and throttling it forward. Not sure about the first corps night when martindale went ballistic on "homos in the corps and on staff"......but I think it was around Feb-Apr 1994 when the sh!t hit the fan. Martindale was naming names on corps night and giving specifics on where these individuals were "caught, doing the act." And, then.....martindale wrote that July 1994 which gave license for GENUINE SPIRITUAL SUSPICION. "I taught recently here at Headquarters when we dismissed two people--one a Staff person and one a Corps person--that deep down in their heart they really wish that they could be homo again; but because the Word is so clear in the household, that spirit won't push them quite that far. That is why I've told our people here at International that no longer can we function on Dr. Wierwille's older standard that he told us Corps leadership years ago--that if we caught someone in the act, then it would be immediate dismissal--we can no longer wait for that kind of thing because the homo spirits in our midst are so subtle. Any GENUINE SPIRITUAL SUSPICION should be pursued by you.......[July 1994 letter]" What about corps principle #1.....you know, that acquiring an in-depth spiritual perception? Martindale was NOW overruling wierwille's foundational corps principles (cough, cough) with a spiritual upgrade, Genuine Spiritual Suspicion. Really? Suspicion is now in the category of "walking by the spirit of God?" I was not buying it. The following month, at the roa......the northwest region coordinator pulled me aside and told me that an intermediate class grad was moving into my state, but be wary because thought the guy was, possibly, a homo. I challenged him on his assessment.....the conversation got testy.....and he abruptly said, "Well...he's coming to your state so he's your problem now." And, several months later.....the guy showed no signs, no desire of homo involvement or whatever. Gawd, the way martindale handled this whole subject was bizarre and asinine. "I remember years ago Dr. Wierwille saying that if Dav1d Cra1ey had really taken a stand on homosexuality in his book (The Hope of Glory: In Search of the Light), we would not be having the rampant epidemic of homosexuality on the college campuses and in our country today." At the time, I strongly refuted wierwille's accusation (in this letter)......and considered it bogus ever since. Why was wierwille NEVER held responsible for anything? Blame, blame, blame.......always deflecting "spiritual" responsibility. Always the corps' fault. What a bunch of bullsh!t. Dav1d Cra1ey was my research advisor.....assisting me on my research paper. Don't know where he ever ended up, but I had nothing but admiration for his assistance and compassioned concern. I think he was the editor-in-chief over The Way Magazine at the time.

Excellent posts AGAIN, Chockful! Keep em coming, please! Very interesting for me to note da forehead's complete ineptitude at "outreach". Thought some understanding into what caused that would got appropriately here Chockful. The OKIE Dope was witnessed to by Joe Coulter at KU. Of course he immediately went waybrain in about a week and never turned back. He went to Wichita a lot to see Donnie Fugit and his revival. Waited until he graduated from KU with a undergraduate degree in Psychology, and then begged his way into the second corpse in the summer of 1971. His only "on-the-field" assignment was for the 2 years immediately following his graduation from the corpse. He was the first guy in OK & the first LC there from 1973-1975. In 1975, he was made Corpse Director and led the slave labor reconstruction at Emporia with some interim 5th and 368 brand new slaves of the incoming 6th corpse. That was the last time OKIE Dope ever left a root locale until he was run out of Dodge in 2000 by Rosie and his wife! Da forehead never had a clue how "the Way tree" worked! Never! He was used to being mister moggie Coordinator and director of everyone around him. There was nothing in OK when he got sent there. Dictor threw him a few WOWS, and then Mr. Future dancing president rammed into virgin territory and applied every bill maize Carnegie technique and dpw PR stunt he had just been brainwashed to, and got the girls in the Price Family and some other impressionable young talented kids to bite the TWIt bullet in OK City, and that was his great outreach rite-of-passage. A bunch of those talented kids wound up going into the 6th corpse where OKIE dope was now King. 2 of the Price sisters were in that 6th corpse. The older one was briefly the royal fiancée. The younger went on to "seed-of-the-serpent" fame. So, da forehead had no knowledge of how the outreach, money making machine of TWIt functioned. He simply assumed that since he was the assigned man-o-god (MOG) everyone and everything around would carry out his every word cuz he was the closest thing to dictor paul in the area and he was to be treated and obeyed the same way. Now that's easy to do when you've been surrounded by nothing but adoring sycophants who believe the same delusion you do. And, they are told by the big MOG that everything you say and do is the best example of what it means to "be corpse", you have an instantly captive audience. We all know that is NOT reality! The "field work" was always left up to Howard and the "general management kids". Any of us who had gone witnessing, run fellowships, branches, areas, classes of every kind, especially piffle, encouraged and collected abundant sharing, cast out devils, ministered healing, drove hundreds of miles back and forth on a weekend to attend some youth advance or class at HQ, ran all over the state running public exes, while lugging around TVs and those huge SONY 3/4" video players, and a whole bookstore in the trunk of your car! LOL! Da forehead was always envious of us "field guys", and frankly, intimidated by several of us. It !s easy to be King when you are given your own campus, castle, and concubines. But to "fight the spiritual battle" 24/7 out there among the seed-boys and the debbils....."well I could do that, but I'm here teaching the future!". Da forehead was always very jealous of binnie finnegan. Beence was the "working believers" MOG. Brash, bold, irreligious, and from the streets of NY. He put together the real practical application of DPW's vision for Way productions. He was a master showman. With the help of the original Joyful Noise, a group of really talented 4th and family corpses, he put together the take a shit caravans. and, later the basic framework for Takit and the outreach cities/weeks which followed. He inspired several productions which were very popular at the cultural center in New Bremen, and several which took the ROA by storm. He also was the Trunk guy, in charge of everything in the USA, not just some puny Little campuses in the sticks of rural America some where. Beence was always up there next to DPW at corpse week too. As a matter of fact, more people at corpse week and the ROA cared about what finnegan was saying or doing than what the corpse Director was doing. All of us on the placements teams at corpse and WOW placements were quite aware of this. It was an inconvenient fact. so, it does not surprise me at all that da forehead relied completely on behavioral control as his management style. He had no knowledge of business. No natural aptitude for business. No training other than the bill maize classes. No biblical education or "training" outside of TWIt, no great intellectual prowess, No practical understanding of HOW the WAY worked any where outside of his own four root locale walls, and no one to confront him on his paranoid delusions and sexual perversions. Donnie always intimidated and manipulated da OKIE king intellectually. Coward intimidated him in the practical, business, living life sense, but more importantly, made him feel like Dictor was never really his friend like he was Howard's. When Rosie came plowing in, with Donna breathing flames from her nostrils, the dancing Prez was totally exposed and the maggots began eating the carcass right away. What you've described above reminds me of King Lear. It is tragic for those who put themselves through this. It is also criminal and therefore MUST BE TOLD. Martin fake is a malignant paranoid narcissist. He is a serial sexual predator and batterer. He is sociopathically self-deluded. He is still living off of TWIt money. He is most miserable above all men.

Well, Rainbow Bridge is for animals, soooo.....Yep. Rainbow Bridge it is.

One of MANY great lines in your posts! Thanks. : )

I will get to examining some more detail of this V & D document, but to interject the story into timelines, how does this story change after all the lawsuits and when Rosie ascends to the throne? It gets infinitely worse. Why? Rosie is a micromanagers micromanager. The other way to put it is that she is on this spectrum of behavior labeled OCD. Except with her, it should be labeled CDO because old schoolteachers need things alphabetized. If spectrum is the way to describe a range of behavior from 1 to 10, Rosie is about a 12.5. She is the ideal Gepetto, the master puppet maker, sitting in the background pulling all the strings, getting all the info fed back to her (including printouts of GS threads because she hates technology), like a huge old black widow spider sitting back in her web waiting to sting someone with another series of purges. Anyway a little foreshadowing into some years we don't have buckets for yet.

So what is it about V & D that is especially oxymoronic? It is like a hamster wheel. Flurries of activity. Frameworks of how to dress, what to teach, when to teach, when to study - all very prescriptive. A handbook. A corporate way of rolling out job descriptions. But one of the things this pesky Paul the apostle guy said that the Way who tries to idolize him just doesn't get - "no other foundation can be laid except Jesus Christ" When a ministry's foundation is built upon plagiarism, conspiracy theories, purging, and an elite swingers club, no matter how much you whitewash the history, polish scriptures taught, change Power for Abundant Living to the Way of Abundance and Power, or proclaim the Word is over the World to change your theme to your own branded "Prevailing Word", the crabapple tree seeds that were sown are eventually going to show the crabapple fruit with a tree. Hiding the nature of the seeds will only serve to make the crabapples taste even more bitter when discovered. So with V & D you can run around on a wheel like a hamster all day long in a world of artificial reality, framing your own language, code, and terminology to become farther and farther removed from mainstream society and even the mainstream body of Christian brothers and sisters with your same proclaimed overall belief. What actually happens is that the only people that are attracted are those with deep-seated problems, who need others consistent oversight just to live life. Dependencies upon dependencies. Those who are willing to have their life framed in an artificial series of interdependencies to escape reality. And this ladies and gentlemen, is "The Prevailing Word to the World". There is a document that talks about "Vision and Direction" . There is no real Vision - just screaming. And purging. And new classes to run the same people through, included mandates for their kids. And pirate's booty to send in to HQ. Direction? well there's the hamster wheel - start running.

Well you know what the Rainbow Bridge is. Do they mean that?

Anyone who is interested in exploring the martindale era......should spend 4 hours reading thru the document files. Paul All3n, on Waydale, was on an 18-hour a day mission to "crash and burn" twi and martindale......hence, way-dale. All of these letters, policies and mandates were at his fingertips.......he was the point of the spear that was thrust into the belly of the beast. If you read these documents....... WARNING: The words cannot be unread......the visual imagery cannot be unseen. Document Files

As a limb coordinator, my daily schedule started around 5:30am. Endeavoring to spend an hour in the scriptures and prayer to start my day was my routine. Most often, I would simply read and meditate on those scriptures that, I believed, were touchstones to love, compassion, and giving to others. No......I didn't follow any study script or anal "lift list" prayer listing from twi.......I despised the creeping micromanagement even during the wierwille era. But........getting faxes at 2 o'clock in the morning was the beginning of the end, for me. No empathy. No concern from the spiritual honchos. Insanity on steroids........