Leaderboard

What if TWI wrote the welcome aboard message for the Titanic: Dear valued guest, you are about to embark on the greatest ©ruse ever conceived! Our philosophy is that you should enjoy an exciting voyage on our own terms. Our ship is equipped with every amenity and option and by far is exceedingly abundantly redundant especially in the option category (i.e. same option stated several different ways). We believe the greatest cargoes come to us over quiet seas – so please keep it on the down low how much you've actually paid to be on this ©ruse. Whether this is your first ©ruse ever or the first time with our ©ruse line our goal is to provide a memorable fun filled experience for all; you may even find yourself wanting to shout "I'm king of the world" from the prow of the boat. Just remember the captain is really the king on this boat…so technically all the women on the boat belong to him. When it comes to our guests – our safety and security is priority one! When we leave Reality Harbor please remember to always wear your nametag. This way if we have a safety or security issue with you we are able to call you out specifically and not distract everyone else who is getting along just fine with the onboard programs. If you should experience any discomfort or minor inconvenience with your cabin - such as flooding, going topsy turvy, etc. – remember the five senses can be deceiving and that a little positive affirmation can go a long way when working through such small problems. If a shipwide catastrophic event should occur it is best to maintain absolute faith in the captain's talent for pulling a nautical miracle out of his stern; unbelievers may inhibit the captain's ability to do so – in which case they should be thrown overboard immediately. Only unbelief can sink this ship – and possibly an iceberg if it's no longer being held in abeyance.

Mixed message: I'm not interested in insulting you, but let's talk about yo' mama for awhile... Think very carefully before hitting "add reply." To send insults that often means you really mean to insult, or you don't care enough that you're not thinking and reviewing before you post. Some days I refuse to reply because I'm not sure where my emotions would be, and posting angry or impulsive is a bad thing, as I see it.

life is so full of b u l l s h i t