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newlife, what you say seems to be ringed in red flags! This preacher fellow seems to have a lot of "look at me!" and not a lot of "look at God!" or "look at Jesus Christ!" You have a bible; read that and do the best you know to do. Ask the Lord to show you better ways to do what is required. Ask him to show you where you can work on reckoning your "old man nature" dead. Stay humble to God and he will show you. Seek the loving support of those you can see live a Christian lifestyle and avoid those who want to berate or belittle you. Avoid like the plague anyone who tells you you are not "meek to the Word" or who is angry or self-opinionated. Go to a church, or better yet two, if that's helpful. If you keep hearing the same thing in both it's quite likely right. If you hear something that sounds off the wall in one, you can ask at that church or in the other church. Look at the people in your workplace, in your community, and see if any of them are leading a Christian lifestyle, and ask them about it. "I've noticed you always seem so peaceful/ that you always have a smile on your face/ that you're gentle with.../ you're so encouraging with your children..." Ask yourself if the way you treat other people is the way you'd like God to treat you. If it's not, do your best to treat others as you would expect a loving God to treat you. As you would expect Jesus, if he were right beside you, to treat you - or the other person. If you try to match your behavior to that ideal, you'll be living out your sanctification in grand style. Don't beat yourself up when you fall short of the standard...we all do.