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I think being a a supportive and loving friend is the best possible advice....and you are so right.......we can't make decisions for others concerning their marriages. Even if advice is solicited....it makes me uncomfortable to get too involved. If someone is in danger, we can help them to organizations or women's shelters who are equipped to handle these situations. I coupon and then make care packages for the women's shelter to give to the women who arrive with nothing. Shampoo, toothpaste, formula and diapers are helpful when you come in empty handed.

I am a recently converted Catholic. And I don't agree with every bit of doctrine. We use birth control and I support gay marriage. The past two or three masses have been pretty political because of pressure from the bishops on the local priests. I almost got up and walked out of the last one I attended.... But here is where it differs from twi - if I did get up and walk out, I could come back next week and no one would harass me, confront me, or shun me. While taking the adult Catholic classes, the question came up "would someone be refused communion if they were openly pro-choice?". The priest said he would not refuse communion because that person could have repented and there was no way the priest could know that for sure. In TWI they automatically assumed guilt and evil and even possession if they saw someone do something they didn't approve of. Not so much in my current church. Just take a look at the current controversy within the Catholic Church regarding the American nuns - the pope says they are radical feminists and need to change their ways. Have the nuns stopped? No. Just look up the nuns on the bus where a group of sisters travelled around the country talking about what Ryan's budget would do to the poor in this country. I'm sure the council of Bishops probably didn't approve of that. But the women religious of the Catholic Church are still respected. Can you imagine if a group of WC women did what the nuns did?

John, perhaps the question here is "what is a 'true believer?'" For one example, in the Catholic religion, most American Catholics have long since adopted the use of birth control other than the rhythm method, but would still call themselves Catholic. Every doctrinal point does not define them, but at the core, they consider themselves Catholic. Rome might wish they were more devout, but basically they are happy to have the flock show up at Mass once in awhile and throw a buck in the plate. The same goes for most other religions. Not every Mormon wife wears religious undergarments, not every Baptist believes every non-Christian goes to hell, and so on. TWI, on the other hand, became much more insistent that their followers adopt every bit of the dogma, even when the articles of faith seemed to change from month to month during the Craig years. (Original sin, tithing, allegiance to the MOG, and debt come to mind.) Worse, the organizational structure seemed to support ratting out anyone who did not conform, and those who were ratted on were kicked out, sometimes without so much as a shred of evidence. During the Weirwille years, I knew of plenty of believers who didn't buy every piece of the doctrine. Heck, I didn't, either. But I was willing (for a time) to stay with the organization, because overall, where else was I going to go where anything close to this doctrine was preached? So I and many others stayed, hoping to make changes from within, or to reason with people one at a time. So the basic difference, socially, between TWI and other religions is one of tolerance. I find it interesting that the "kinder, gentler" TWI kicked in when it was clear that a rigid stance threatened to destroy the organization. Can't have that -- too many people on the payroll.