The first belief that I had to get rid of ... was that God thought I was a "self-willed bitch". The director of the Family Corps told me he had heard this from God by way of a revelation. When I think of any bad thing that's happened in my life, I can also remember counting on God for a solution. But when I believed that God Himself had rejected me, there was no place to go for comfort. Being dropped from Corps Training, along with my family, nearly all of my focus HAD TO be on mere survival. We had no home, no money, no jobs. The survival mode kept my brain too busy to concentrate on God's rejection of me. I suppose this was a good thing. When we finally got our feet back on the ground, I realized that the so-called revelation was just a crock.