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I am not a Christian, so perhaps my answers won't interest you. But, your understanding of Judaism interests me because I am Jewish. I suspect, however, that you will find my answers unsatisfactory. They are my answers. By that, I mean they are not likely to be the answers you are seeking. I can tell you I have raged at God. I have walked away from God. I have studied, I have screamed, I have thrown my hands up in the air and cursed at God. Yet, in the end I always return. Changed in my thoughts and opinions, but still believing in God nonetheless. My father wouild call that weakness, he does not believe. But for me, it is my belief that makes me strong. I don't know why terrible things happen in this world. I don't know why 6 million Jews died in consentration camps or why so many died in Haitti. I don't know why men rape women, why children are abused, or why teenaged boys are killing each other over turf and drugs. I don't know why I had to endure being raped at 17. Or why I had to endure an abusive marriage. Or why my grandmother (who was the most wonderful and amazing woman I have ever known) had to die only a few short months before she would have met her first great-grandson. What I do know is that there are things I can do to make this world a better place. I know that each day I can take action that has a positive impact on my family and the community I live in. Most days, it may only seem like little things, but those little things can unexpectedly have a tremendous impact down the road. That is the cornerstone of Judaism, not the rituals, but the doing, the making a difference. I think many Christians may feel the same way about their religion as well. And, I know that it is my belief in God that keeps me going and helps give me the strength and courage to continue to do those little things. Without that belief, for me, life seems hopeless and pointless. I might just as well eat, drink, and be merry until the day I die. It is my belief in God that gives me hope and it is hope that gives me strength and courage and it is strength and courage that allows me to get out of bed every day and do my part to improve my corner of the world. So, I don't believe in a good or loving God simply because some book says He is so. I believe in a good and loving God because that is what brings me peace in this chaotic and often harsh world that we live in.