and say Hi, this is mstar --Ive missed you and wonder how you're doing.... :)
I probably should add that the friends that I had in TWI --were friends based on our relationship to each other not necessarily on our meeting each other through TWI which was only incidental.. I cared about them as people, not their affiliation. I would hope that it was reciprocated. Im sure it would come up-but hopefully it wouldnt be that big of a deal or a barrier between us......if it was I know who I am and why I am where I am, which I'd gladly talk about openly......I doubt I'd ever go in with the intent of trying to rescue someone, but just express any honest friendship that I do have. Love goes further than dogma
I`d call em. Tell them what you just said here. That you have just gotten their number, that you have missed them and wanted to get caught up. Let them carry the ball from there.
Wafers give themselves away pretty quickly. Maybe they have questions for you. Maybe you are the calm voice of reason that hasn`t become posessed or died since leaving....
If they are out, then you can laugh together at the folly of our youth.
I've called quite a few old wayfer "friends". I was received well for the most part. But as far as any friendship, I'm not holding my breath. They know I'm NEVER going back. My supposed best friend didn't bother to stay in touch after I contacted her about 7 or 8 months ago. Oh well....it wasn't a real friendship then was it?
Only person I contacted still calls me regularly. They left twi for a few years, went back, and now see the grass isn't so green. They ask their leadership questions and still get yelled at. I told this person NOBODY has the right to yell at people. This person has to get over the waybrained ideas that TWI is the place where "The Word" is. I told this person that TWI doesn't hold the license to "The Word" and that there are many organizations who have it and teach it well. This person doesn't even want to to go an offshoot because they feel the offshoots only want to trash talk about TWI. This person has a lot to get over, but I think they will come around. Until then, I am there for them. I don't try to persuade them either way.
I don't have a problem with people staying in TWI if that is what truly makes them happy. I just hope they aren't so jaded in their thinking that they don't associate outside the walls of TWI or think that anyone outside the walls are delusional for not believing the same way they do.
We are all great examples that life is good outside the cult.
Only person I contacted still calls me regularly. They left twi for a few years, went back, and now see the grass isn't so green. They ask their leadership questions and still get yelled at. I told this person NOBODY has the right to yell at people. This person has to get over the waybrained ideas that TWI is the place where "The Word" is. I told this person that TWI doesn't hold the license to "The Word" and that there are many organizations who have it and teach it well. This person doesn't even want to to go an offshoot because they feel the offshoots only want to trash talk about TWI. This person has a lot to get over, but I think they will come around. Until then, I am there for them. I don't try to persuade them either way.
somebody ought to print up a boat load of "word licenses" and have them shipped to TWI...
Would it be best to talk about "life" and let them, IF they so choose, bring up TWI? If they're still in, they'll bring it up eventually. If they're not - they may not even think about it....depending on how much/well they've recovered from their TWI time.
Dear friend-They know you left. And you know what the way tells people about contacting those who have left. If they really cared for you they would call you.
You may have thought they were friends.
I actually thought I had a few in twi. When I left I talked a few others out too. The ones who stayed in twi who I thought were friends went behind my back and tried to talk the ones I had gotten out about coming back.
They are very deceived.
I'm not telling you what to do but be careful, you don't want to get hurt or get into arguements.
Would it be best to talk about "life" and let them, IF they so choose, bring up TWI? If they're still in, they'll bring it up eventually. If they're not - they may not even think about it....depending on how much/well they've recovered from their TWI time.
gees Belle -you are usually so free spoken...
I dont know the relationship that you had with these particular people and/ or what all the connections and issues were that bound you together --only you know that...
personally I wouldnt avoid talking about the elephant in the room but I wouldnt be looking to pick a fight either--
What do you want to talk about? Why are you calling them? to see how they are, reconnect? wish them well? or something different?
Whatever way it is go from the heart--you're good at that
and ps you others --I pulled em over and checked the license, it was not only expired but never valid in the first place
Belle, be ready for the worst, but hope for the best---yeah yeah I know that's cliche, but hey--you are in a cliche moment.
You can ask how they are, about their job, family, if it goes well, ask if she/he will accept you even though you no longer can support twi. In talking about family your ex-other will come up...you can either talk about it frankly or run a decoy and deal with it when you are ready on your own terms to tip your hand more fully...you will know by the reception you get.
Above all tho' protect your heart and be ready to be rejected --anything else will be uphill.
Belle darling, It's worth a shot, but it's a gamble whether they really want to keep up the friendship or not. We have many that ''fake it'' or never call us at all anymore.
One thing is for sure, don't badmouth the Way, just talk about how happy you are. *badmouthing will shut down all communication...................................unless they are OUT TOO!)
Just recently I sent a family that are (were) very good friends of ours, and are Way Disciples right now.
I sent a care package and a note that said, "We may not support The Way, but we support YOU".
They sent notes of thanks, but of course, the relationship is a little akward and strange.
But, no worries. If they wake up and leave, they'll know who to call!
I'd call. I'd talk and listen. I'd also be prepared for anything. Tell them you were thinking about them and decided to take a chance and call.
Let it go from there. It might end up that things go south quickly, or not at all. It might be that they remember you when and if they leave the cult. (Assuming they are still in.)
Hey Belle. Since you live in Fla. do you know J and K C*x from Jacksonville? They used to be in STL and were really cool, but after TWI split...not so much. In 1997 I called and talked to K. I kind of snuck up on her. First I mentioned that I'd drove past HQ recently. Then I told her that JP and Sara hadn't been with TWI for 2 yrs. When it finally dawned on her that I wasn't interested in being back in TWI she says, "Why did you call me!!!???". I said I wondered if she was still in TWI. She says, "Yes, and HAPPILY so!!!"
Well. What do you do with a fellow like that?
Pretty much everybody I've called like that was still in.
I called old friends and said, "I do not know whether you are in or out and this call is not about that. It is about ME missing YOU as people and friends ... tell me about your life....
I wrote a couple of emails to one couple who are in offshoots. They responded twice, then would never respond again. I wrote letters to one asking if I could fellowship again with TWI in her fellowship (years ago) and got a blistering letter condemning me for turning my back on the Word and LCM. I wrote a letter back telling her I changed my mind about fellowshipping with TWI and her.
Ignorantly...I just started a similar thread today. I located an old lover who got me involved in the first place. Those were truly the most confusing years of my life and I was a bit terrified to revisit them. She's the same...in a splinter group. When we talk, it's pesonal for a minute, but breaks into a long teaching each time. I gently break out, and add a gentle paralell to my own life, some more genuine talk followed by more teaching on her part. Don't get me wrong...I'm a spiritual person, but I can discuss a multitude of issues, without lapsing into regurgitated Wayspeak. The saddest part is now she's in her mid 60's unmarried, and lonely I guess.
I only tried it once. She was one of my best friends. She was still in, and I had just left the first time. I made it a point to tell her I was no longer fellowshipping. We were always so upfront with each other.
I could tell she was hurt, but we talked for awhile. Afterwards, she told me she had thought about calling me but had thought it wasn't best.
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mstar1
I'd pick up the phone
dial the number
and say Hi, this is mstar --Ive missed you and wonder how you're doing.... :)
I probably should add that the friends that I had in TWI --were friends based on our relationship to each other not necessarily on our meeting each other through TWI which was only incidental.. I cared about them as people, not their affiliation. I would hope that it was reciprocated. Im sure it would come up-but hopefully it wouldnt be that big of a deal or a barrier between us......if it was I know who I am and why I am where I am, which I'd gladly talk about openly......I doubt I'd ever go in with the intent of trying to rescue someone, but just express any honest friendship that I do have. Love goes further than dogma
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rascal
I`d call em. Tell them what you just said here. That you have just gotten their number, that you have missed them and wanted to get caught up. Let them carry the ball from there.
Wafers give themselves away pretty quickly. Maybe they have questions for you. Maybe you are the calm voice of reason that hasn`t become posessed or died since leaving....
If they are out, then you can laugh together at the folly of our youth.
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potato
I called and it was very healing.
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Tom Strange
yeah... what the others said... only be sure to use your "regan" voice... and intersperse a few "why you do this to me demi?" in there...
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sprawled out
your experience may be different, belle, but i've looked up a few old twi friends over the years--and not ONE of them was still in.
hopefully you'll be that lucky.
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Nottawayfer
I've called quite a few old wayfer "friends". I was received well for the most part. But as far as any friendship, I'm not holding my breath. They know I'm NEVER going back. My supposed best friend didn't bother to stay in touch after I contacted her about 7 or 8 months ago. Oh well....it wasn't a real friendship then was it?
Only person I contacted still calls me regularly. They left twi for a few years, went back, and now see the grass isn't so green. They ask their leadership questions and still get yelled at. I told this person NOBODY has the right to yell at people. This person has to get over the waybrained ideas that TWI is the place where "The Word" is. I told this person that TWI doesn't hold the license to "The Word" and that there are many organizations who have it and teach it well. This person doesn't even want to to go an offshoot because they feel the offshoots only want to trash talk about TWI. This person has a lot to get over, but I think they will come around. Until then, I am there for them. I don't try to persuade them either way.
I don't have a problem with people staying in TWI if that is what truly makes them happy. I just hope they aren't so jaded in their thinking that they don't associate outside the walls of TWI or think that anyone outside the walls are delusional for not believing the same way they do.
We are all great examples that life is good outside the cult.
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Tom Strange
somebody ought to print up a boat load of "word licenses" and have them shipped to TWI...
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Belle
Nothing ventured - nothing gained, right?
Would it be best to talk about "life" and let them, IF they so choose, bring up TWI? If they're still in, they'll bring it up eventually. If they're not - they may not even think about it....depending on how much/well they've recovered from their TWI time.
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Nottawayfer
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polar bear
Dear friend-They know you left. And you know what the way tells people about contacting those who have left. If they really cared for you they would call you.
You may have thought they were friends.
I actually thought I had a few in twi. When I left I talked a few others out too. The ones who stayed in twi who I thought were friends went behind my back and tried to talk the ones I had gotten out about coming back.
They are very deceived.
I'm not telling you what to do but be careful, you don't want to get hurt or get into arguements.
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mstar1
gees Belle -you are usually so free spoken...
I dont know the relationship that you had with these particular people and/ or what all the connections and issues were that bound you together --only you know that...
personally I wouldnt avoid talking about the elephant in the room but I wouldnt be looking to pick a fight either--
What do you want to talk about? Why are you calling them? to see how they are, reconnect? wish them well? or something different?
Whatever way it is go from the heart--you're good at that
and ps you others --I pulled em over and checked the license, it was not only expired but never valid in the first place
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excathedra
i have a dear friend who is (or at least was) involved with the geer (spit) group
we don't talk about it. i think she knows how i feel about him
but she also knows how much i love her
we talk about our lives, family, work, sometimes god.....
--
i don't want to hurt her. i love her so much
but if she ever calls me and says she hates the evil one, i will hold the phone to my ear and CLAP :)
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washingtonweather
Belle, be ready for the worst, but hope for the best---yeah yeah I know that's cliche, but hey--you are in a cliche moment.
You can ask how they are, about their job, family, if it goes well, ask if she/he will accept you even though you no longer can support twi. In talking about family your ex-other will come up...you can either talk about it frankly or run a decoy and deal with it when you are ready on your own terms to tip your hand more fully...you will know by the reception you get.
Above all tho' protect your heart and be ready to be rejected --anything else will be uphill.
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bliss
Belle darling, It's worth a shot, but it's a gamble whether they really want to keep up the friendship or not. We have many that ''fake it'' or never call us at all anymore.
One thing is for sure, don't badmouth the Way, just talk about how happy you are. *badmouthing will shut down all communication...................................unless they are OUT TOO!)
Just recently I sent a family that are (were) very good friends of ours, and are Way Disciples right now.
I sent a care package and a note that said, "We may not support The Way, but we support YOU".
They sent notes of thanks, but of course, the relationship is a little akward and strange.
But, no worries. If they wake up and leave, they'll know who to call!
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doojable
I'd call. I'd talk and listen. I'd also be prepared for anything. Tell them you were thinking about them and decided to take a chance and call.
Let it go from there. It might end up that things go south quickly, or not at all. It might be that they remember you when and if they leave the cult. (Assuming they are still in.)
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socks
brnnnnnnng...
brnnnnnnng...
brnnnnnnng...
"Hello?"
"Hello, this is the Utility Company, and we're doing an appliance check in your neighborhood.
Is your refrigerator running?"
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Ham
Somebody from the long, distant past found me, not at Greasespot.. if you put my name on a Google search, you would find me on the second page.
I got an email. "are you the Ham I knew.."
I gave the person my phone number..
Haven't heard a thing..
I wonder if the person ran the idea by their local leadership...
That would be so sad..
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johniam
Hey Belle. Since you live in Fla. do you know J and K C*x from Jacksonville? They used to be in STL and were really cool, but after TWI split...not so much. In 1997 I called and talked to K. I kind of snuck up on her. First I mentioned that I'd drove past HQ recently. Then I told her that JP and Sara hadn't been with TWI for 2 yrs. When it finally dawned on her that I wasn't interested in being back in TWI she says, "Why did you call me!!!???". I said I wondered if she was still in TWI. She says, "Yes, and HAPPILY so!!!"
Well. What do you do with a fellow like that?
Pretty much everybody I've called like that was still in.
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Dot Matrix
Belle
I called old friends and said, "I do not know whether you are in or out and this call is not about that. It is about ME missing YOU as people and friends ... tell me about your life....
then take it from there
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excathedra
you better da mn catch it.....
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socks
If they are currently standing valiantly in the Household of the Prevailing Disciples, it may go like this...
bu-riiinnnnnnnng!
bu-riiinnnnnnnng!
bu-riiinnnnnnnng!
(long lost budski answers phone) "Hello?"
(you say) "Knock Knock! "
(they respond) "Can you hold on please, there's someone at the door..."
You should hang up, they may be gone for awhile....
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Eagle
I wrote a couple of emails to one couple who are in offshoots. They responded twice, then would never respond again. I wrote letters to one asking if I could fellowship again with TWI in her fellowship (years ago) and got a blistering letter condemning me for turning my back on the Word and LCM. I wrote a letter back telling her I changed my mind about fellowshipping with TWI and her.
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Wanderer
Ignorantly...I just started a similar thread today. I located an old lover who got me involved in the first place. Those were truly the most confusing years of my life and I was a bit terrified to revisit them. She's the same...in a splinter group. When we talk, it's pesonal for a minute, but breaks into a long teaching each time. I gently break out, and add a gentle paralell to my own life, some more genuine talk followed by more teaching on her part. Don't get me wrong...I'm a spiritual person, but I can discuss a multitude of issues, without lapsing into regurgitated Wayspeak. The saddest part is now she's in her mid 60's unmarried, and lonely I guess.
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Lori
I only tried it once. She was one of my best friends. She was still in, and I had just left the first time. I made it a point to tell her I was no longer fellowshipping. We were always so upfront with each other.
I could tell she was hurt, but we talked for awhile. Afterwards, she told me she had thought about calling me but had thought it wasn't best.
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